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Yakkity Yak (3 comments)

Yakkity Yak

Monday, January 21, 2008 - 06:54 PM

A reader writes... My girlfriend talks about nothing except topics relating to and interesting to her; I get no chance to speak about My day or My thoughts. When I do talk about My day, she seems to zone out. I've spoken to her and lately she's been trying to ask about my day, but it's always too late: I've forgotten everything except her story, her problems, her life. What can I try to get her to engage me in conversation instead of just talking at each other?
markdf
Lover

Posts: 46

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Jan 2008
Re: Yakkity Yak (Score: 1)
posted Tuesday, January 22, 2008 - 12:17 AM (#40423)
If your own day was so hideously dull that listening to her makes you completely forget your whole day... then maybe you should be thanking her. What she's telling you must be very interesting.

Ultimately, everyone needs a way to vent. Having someone that you can unload to is invaluable. Think of it as a cheap alternative to psychotherapy. When she's done talking about her day, she's probably feeling a sense of catharsis, and doesn't want to ruin it by dealing with your day.

Try waiting until some other time to tell her about your day. You can't both dump on each other at the same time; it just doesn't work, as you've already discovered firsthand.
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TheOriginalJes
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Posts: 34

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Jan 2008
Re: Yakkity Yak (Score: 1)
posted Tuesday, January 22, 2008 - 10:44 AM (#40428)

I'd have to agree. Unless your day was particularly stressful or exciting, just go with the flow. She's obviously the dominent personality, here. If you like it, live it. If not, then you know what to do.

"Honey, we need to talk..."


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Murgatroyd
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Posts: 44

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Jan 2008
Re: Yakkity Yak (Score: 1)
posted Wednesday, January 23, 2008 - 03:24 AM (#40450)

Yak, what do you like to talk about other than how your day went? And even more important, what things do you and she have in common that you both like to talk about? Subjects that would enable you to actually hold a conversation with her?

Your complaint seems to be, "She gets to have her monologue, but I don't get to have mine!" You both seem (from the tone of your letter) to be more interested in talking to the other person than in talking with the other person.


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