Tonight's the Night!

A reader writes... My husband and I have been married for 20 years. We have three children and I am committed to the “long term” of this marriage. We seemed sexually compatible during courtship. Shortly after the honeymoon, we had sex less and less. Now we are down to two or three times a year and only if HE feels like it. This just makes me want to cry. Over the years we have tried counselling, medical doctors, testosterone therapy, talking, honesty and everything I can think of. I have learned not to ask, caress or flirt as not to risk repeated rejection. Sometimes I feel like I am slowly dying inside. My husband knows all this and I think he cares and loves me but because he has a very low sex drive, it is not an issue for him. He believes that I am putting too much emphasis on sex in a marriage and that it is not what makes a good marriage. I believe that a true intimate relationship is very important. I have no interest in anyone besides my husband. I guess I am closer and closer to giving up totally. What a shame, part of me feels like I am wasting my life. Am I putting too much emphasis on sex?