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A Real Animal in the Bedroom (4 comments)

A Real Animal in the Bedroom

Friday, February 08, 2008 - 09:24 PM

A reader writes... I love my girlfriend very much. We are even planning to buy a place together. However, I am beginning to worry about how I will cope sleeping in a bed every night with two dogs. When I’m at her place, some nights I can’t fall asleep as I await the inevitable tousling of covers, trot across the bedroom floor, slurping of water, or bouncing in mid-air to be let outside at 3 a.m. My gal is used to this and has no problem sleeping. I’ve never had a dog and while I try to be sympathetic, I don’t quite see the benefit of having pets in bed. We’ve put the dogs in a basement pen on a few occasions, but she feels guilty when we do. Problem is, I get up well before dawn for work and I need my rest. We’ve talked about it and I’ve expressed my unease but haven’t found a solution. Any ideas?
ElBueno
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Posts: 17

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Jan 2008
Re: A Real Animal in the Bedroom (Score: 1)
posted Friday, February 08, 2008 - 09:37 PM (#40823)

One person or another will just have to compromise, which will lead to one of two scenarios:

1) She compromises -- The dogs stay in the basement at night (or you just close the bedroom door). Girlfriend feels guilty.

2) You compromise -- The dogs continue keeping you up. Your sleep schedule (and your health!) suffers. Maybe you get used to it eventually, but that could take years.

So, in one scenario, a person has to cope with an emotional reaction. In the other, a person has to suffer physically.

She needs to recognize that this is a big problem for you. If she doesn't (or if she does but doesn't do anything about it), then you're not going to be able to live together.

You're in a predicament that I would never wish on any man: You need to get your girlfriend to compromise. When a woman wants a man to change, she's making him a better person. When a man needs a woman to change, he's a controlling bastard. I feel for ya.


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jasonred
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Feb 2008
Re: A Real Animal in the Bedroom (Score: 1)
posted Monday, February 11, 2008 - 05:43 AM (#40845)

Sounds simple enough. Do what everyone else does and get a place with a little garden, let the dogs stay in the doghouse. The basement pen sounds sort of dark and miserable, but dogs actually LIKE being outdoors.
Until then, have her over at your place often.

If you're willing to be dishonest, sneeze or scratch yourself after spending long amounts of time with the dogs... you can probably get some doctor to say that you can only spend an hour or so in direct contact with the dogs before you get allergic reactions and stuff? Then you can still play with them etc etc while having an excuse for not actually SLEEPING with them.


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TheOriginalJes
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Posts: 205

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Jan 2008
Re: A Real Animal in the Bedroom (Score: 1)
posted Monday, February 11, 2008 - 11:01 AM (#40849)
In Response to jasonred (#40845):

--If you're willing to be dishonest, sneeze or scratch yourself after spending long amounts of time with the dogs... you can probably get some doctor to say that you can only spend an hour or so in direct contact with the dogs before you get allergic reactions and stuff? Then you can still play with them etc etc while having an excuse for not actually SLEEPING with them.--

I'd be afraid that the truth would come out. And as luck would usually have it, this would occur after the dog had been put down or given away.

I think the best course would be to work it out with her, now. Whatever the end result being, just make an agreement and stick to it.

I had the same situation when I moved in with my (now) wife. She had 2 small dogs. My choice was to put up with them. Then, she got me a kitten (and, they're even worse).

They'd spend all night trying to steal my pillow. They woke me up at 2 or 3 am EVERY morning to go out, even the cat. (Given where we lived, I had to go with them. Good luck trying to wake HER up!). During lightning storms, they'd sit lay on my face. That went on for 6 years. It's been over 2 years since the dogs past away, and I still miss them anyway. But, I won't do it again.


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Murgatroyd
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Jan 2008
Re: A Real Animal in the Bedroom (Score: 1)
posted Wednesday, February 13, 2008 - 02:04 AM (#40883)

What They Said.

In addition. try some interim measures:

When I’m at her place, some nights I can’t fall asleep as I await the inevitable tousling of covers, trot across the bedroom floor, -- When they're too active, kick them out of the bedroom and close the door.

slurping of water,
-- Put the water dish in another room. Duh!

or bouncing in mid-air to be let outside at 3 a.m.
-- If you have to let them out, put them in the basement when they come back in.

I don’t quite see the benefit of having pets in bed.
-- Hah! Just wait until you're cold-nosed during an intimate moment!


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