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Rub-a-Dub-Double (4 comments)

Rub-a-Dub-Double

Thursday, February 21, 2008 - 11:45 PM

A reader writes... I’m a 27-year-old woman who has been married for 18 months. So far, things have been great. My husband is loving and supportive, and we get along well. There is one small problem: He insists on showering with me every day. I thought this was cute at first, but now it’s a pain. It’s crowded — sometimes I just want to be alone and relax. And when I need to shave my legs, I have to take another shower later. I suggested we shower separately, and he got all hurt and mopey for a few days. How can I get him to shower alone?
TheOriginalJes
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Jan 2008
Re: Rub-a-Dub-Double (Score: 1)
posted Friday, February 22, 2008 - 09:56 AM (#40998)

Although I'd hate to burst another man's bubble; if he needs to be in there with you every single time, the something's a little off-center.

There's no way to tell him without bruising his ego a bit. If you try weening him off, or changing your routine to make it inconvenient for him, you risk setting up a bad precedent, where you won't feel you can be open with him. You may even begin to resent him for it.

Before you do anything, however. You may want to find out why it's so important to him. Then get back to us.


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mbnmac
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Feb 2008
Re: Rub-a-Dub-Double (Score: 1)
posted Saturday, February 23, 2008 - 03:29 AM (#41013)

Me and my wife always shower together, we do have a bath/shower though which is quite large but if we ever needed to stop due to space we would.
I think it's a bit insensitive of him to not give you some privacy if you want it, but you could also indulge him a little (we men do so like that).
Try having a day where you shower together, or just once a week/fortnight, explain that it's cramped and you want the space to yourself sometimes.


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benegeezerit
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Feb 2008
Re: Rub-a-Dub-Double (Score: 1)
posted Tuesday, February 26, 2008 - 03:12 PM (#41073)

My guy likes the dual-shower thing too. And 99% of the time, I'm all for it. But yes, there are times when I'd like some solo time. Luckily, I have my own pad (and a gym membership), so if I need to shave/veg out in the shower, I can go somewhere else. But for those times when I'm at his place and crave solo time? He's half-dead in the morning, so I'll hop in while he's still down. He'll join in halfway through, but that still gives me enough "me" time with the hot water. Hope this helps!?!


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LizKitten
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Feb 2008
Re: Rub-a-Dub-Double (Score: 1)
posted Tuesday, February 26, 2008 - 04:03 PM (#41075)

Well, based on significant others I've had, I'd say you'd best get your showering done when your husband is at work, if you want alone time with the water! ^^ Alternately, explain to him that just because you're married doesn't mean you're attached at the hip. If he's getting upset because you can't -shower- together, what's going to happen when you want to have a girls' night out or something? Is he going to want to come to that too, or worse still, try to get you not to go? He needs to remember that he can and should operate independently, as should you-- otherwise it's not a healthy relationship.

Just what I see. But then again, I was sort of raised pessimist. XD So, you could go back to my first suggestion. Shower while he's out.


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