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Long distance operator (5 comments)

Long distance operator

Sunday, March 30, 2008 - 05:14 PM

A reader writes... I met a girl a few months ago when visiting a friend. We hit it off and I happened to be passing through that town again so we saw each other again. It was a lot of fun for both of us and so a few weeks later I took the train and went to just visit her (the other times I had other reasons to be in town). She's said she really wants to come visit me but that was some weeks ago. We made plans twice but each time she had to cancel for what seemed like legitimate reasons. I've been in long distance relationships before and I know that unless you see one another frequently, the attraction can die quickly. We haven't seen each other for about 6 weeks now and I feel like that is happening. What can I do?
jasonred
Lover

Posts: 20

Registered:
Feb 2008
Re: Long distance operator (Score: 1)
posted Monday, March 31, 2008 - 03:36 AM (#41888)

You've met her 3 times in your life. Over several months. And haven't seen each other in 6 weeks. You haven't mentioned how often you communicate by phone or webcam, so I am going to jump to conclusions and assume that your telecommunication relationship is nothing to shout about.

From that, my conclusion is:

You're NOT in a long distance relationship. Heck, you're not in a relationship.

In fact, I'd put it down as somewhere between acquaintances and friends from what I've read so far.

Not that I'm saying that you can't FORM a long distance relationship. It sounds like it'd take work and effort on your part though, which neither you or the girl sound enthusiastic about.

The fact that you're talking about the relationship dying, when it hasn't even begun, probably has a lot to do with it. Let's be honest, you're not really THAT interested, are you? And I bet, neither is she.

You happened to meet each other, felt some attraction, had a good time... but that's as far as it went, for now. Why don't you chill out, go with the flow, see if there's anything deeper there as you go along... no pressure man.


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Murgatroyd
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Posts: 300

Registered:
Jan 2008
Re: Long distance operator (Score: 1)
posted Monday, March 31, 2008 - 03:40 AM (#41889)

Jeeze, call her! Try to make a date: either you go visit her again, or you both travel to some third location. If she can't make it, ask her -- without whining or being confrontational -- if she's in a relationship with someone else.

Given that it's a long-distance relationship, what do you want out of it? Do you expect it to evolve into something else?


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ElBueno
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Posts: 17

Registered:
Jan 2008
Re: Long distance operator (Score: 1)
posted Monday, March 31, 2008 - 10:03 AM (#41901)

There's a reason why so many people are against long-distance relationships. It's just not worth it!

It sucks, I know, but 6 weeks without seeing each other is a pretty clear sign that it's not working out. Hell, my girlfriend only lives about 50 minutes away, and even that keeps us from seeing each other more often than just weekends (thank the gods she's moving into my place in August -- she practically lives there three days a week already).

Call her up and ask her if she, in sincerest honesty, thinks the relationship is worth continuing. Unless she's 100% against breaking up, it's time to end it. Don't worry! You'll find someone local! Hang in there!


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Murgatroyd
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Posts: 300

Registered:
Jan 2008
Re: Long distance operator (Score: 1)
posted Tuesday, April 01, 2008 - 12:12 AM (#41929)

Call her up and ask her if she, in sincerest honesty, thinks the relationship is worth continuing. Unless she's 100% against breaking up, it's time to end it. Don't worry! You'll find someone local! Hang in there!

Whoa! No need to be hasty about this! They've only gotten together three times -- we don't even know whether any boinking was involved. If she isn't shutting him out because she has someone else, there's no reason for them to not keep seeing each other on a casual basis whenever he happens to be in her vicinity. It just means that they have a "let's have some fun together whenever it works out" relationship instead of a "I'm hoping to get serious you with but I don't know how to handle the commute" relationship.


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mmm2012
Lover

From: CAlifornia

Posts: 1

Registered:
Apr 2008
Re: Long distance operator (Score: 1)
posted Wednesday, April 02, 2008 - 04:57 PM (#41978)

I think that you are not really into her anyways. Long distance relationship are hard. If its only been 6 weeks. Now you are losing interest?? Obviously it wasnt there and you are only fooling yourself. You can try to see if it is true. Calling her, going out. Making a trip to see her.


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