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All in the Family... (7 comments)

All in the Family...

Friday, May 02, 2008 - 12:00 AM

A reader writes...Q: My fiancee and I are in our late 20s. We have been living together for two years. I love her a lot. She is very intelligent, and I find her very attractive. The problem? Let’s just say that in bed, I have had better. Many of our sessions end without me “finishing.” She had noticed this and asked me if she still excites me. I tried to fix things by fantasizing about other women during sex, but that only worked a few times. Then, things changed on our last visit to her parents. I was blown away by her 18-year-old sister. She was wearing a tramped-out Catholic schoolgirl outfit. I immediately began fantasizing about her. The results were amazing. The last month or so, our sex sessions have been great. My fiancee has noticed the difference. She is now a detective, inquiring about the changes. I don’t know what to tell her. She once commented, when I asked her to dress up certain ways, that she could “just borrow these clothes from her sister instead of buying them.” Does she know seomthingsomething? What do I tell her if she persists? I worry that if I play stupid, she will grow very suspicious that I’m doing something besides having fantasies.
dcbill
Lover

Posts: 1

Registered:
May 2008
Re: All in the Family... (Score: 1)
posted Friday, May 02, 2008 - 12:19 AM (#42519)

You say she's "very intelligent," and you told her to “just borrow these clothes from her sister instead of buying them.”

What's wrong with this picture?


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CarlosCM
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Posts: 12

Registered:
Apr 2008
Re: All in the Family... (Score: 1)
posted Friday, May 02, 2008 - 02:33 AM (#42522)

Sorry, but you are doomed. Sisters, brothers and best friends are the taboos of fantasies.

Find someone else to fantasise about and you might rescue your relationship.


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Threesome
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Posts: 26

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Feb 2008
Re: All in the Family... (Score: 1)
posted Friday, May 02, 2008 - 02:51 AM (#42524)

I notice a few interesting things here - you claim you "had better", but once you fantasize about her sister everything is great ?

You are no longer as aroused by her as you used to, and you try to "fix" it by fantasizing about other women ?

First of all, look at the reasons why you "had better". Does this apply to other women, or does this apply to her ? If she has always been crap in bed, why haven't you done something about it already?

Okay, so you are turned on by slutty schoolgirls. I can't say I disapprove, as long as you don't actually act upon your urges. That's what girlfriends and roleplaying is for.

It is also common for older men (and you are close to 30 now) to aspire to younger women, possibly as a way of staving off their midlife crisis to a point where they can actually afford a penis-shaped car like a Porsche.

Again, as always, the secret to success is talking. Talk to her, tell her what you like in sex, tell her what you don't like, and get her to dress like a slutty schoolgirl. Or a nurse, or a nun. Whatever grinds your rod.

And, seriously, don't mention her sister. Tell her that you saw those clothes on her sister and fantasized about your girlfriend in them.
That's an important point - you don't want her to think you want to bone her sister, and you really don't want her to think you're child molesting pervert who takes quick trips to the local high school for underage sluts.

Every relationship has something like this, sex becomes stale and it becomes more work to get really great sex. So now it's time to explore a bit more, get out the whips and chains, fancy costumes, have quickies in church and invite that swinger couple that wanted to hook up with you for some time.

Just ... don't ... mention ... her ... sister !!!


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TheOriginalJes
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Jan 2008
Re: All in the Family... (Score: 1)
posted Friday, May 02, 2008 - 10:58 AM (#42528)

--Does she know seomthingsomething?--

Yes, she does know seomthingsomething! You probably give her sister way too much of your attention. I'll bet you even stare at her when you think nobody's looking.

--She once commented, when I asked her to dress up certain ways, that she could “just borrow these clothes from her sister instead of buying them.” --

Did you describe her sister's last outfit, in great detail? How much time past from seeing the outfit to suggesting to your fiancee?

You might try everything you can to get the sister out of your mind.


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NunyaBidness
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Posts: 83

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Apr 2008
Re: All in the Family... (Score: 1)
posted Saturday, May 03, 2008 - 07:29 AM (#42539)

Dude. Talk to her. Really. Ask what she likes. Do it for her. Tell her what you like. Ask her to do it.


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OpenHorizons
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Posts: 1

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May 2008
Re: All in the Family... (Score: 1)
posted Saturday, May 03, 2008 - 10:20 AM (#42540)

You need to read Nancy Friday's My Secret Garden. Women have a wide variety of Sexual Fantacies as well. It's allowed, its natural so why can't men do it?


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Murgatroyd
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Posts: 300

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Jan 2008
Re: All in the Family... (Score: 1)
posted Sunday, May 04, 2008 - 12:40 AM (#42545)

Women have a wide variety of Sexual Fantacies as well. It's allowed, its natural so why can't men do it?

Um ... because women have double standards? Because what's "liberating" for them to do is "degrading" when men do it?

She once commented, when I asked her to dress up certain ways, that she could “just borrow these clothes from her sister instead of buying them.” Does she know something?

Well, even if she does know something, apparently she doesn't know enough -- or care enough -- to actually want to do something about the situation. If she hasn't tried dressing up in trampy clothes even though you've asked her to as a way of improving your sex life then that might indicate the two of you have additional issues to be worked out before you get married.

Threesome has already offered the advice this guy needs to follow:

And, seriously, don't mention her sister. Tell her that you saw those clothes on her sister and fantasized about your girlfriend in them.
That's an important point - you don't want her to think you want to bone her sister, and you really don't want her to think you're child molesting pervert who takes quick trips to the local high school for underage sluts.


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