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POLL RESULTS: Hide 'n' Go Sneak: (13 comments)

POLL: Hide 'n' Go Sneak

Friday, October 24, 2008 - 12:09 AM

I had been seeing a guy for a few weeks. A few weeks ago he invited me to his friend's house for a party. But when we got there, he wasn't really paying attention to me. So while I was getting a drink, a really cute guy came up to me and started talking. When he told me he was leaving, I sneaked out the back door, and walked with him to his car where we kissed. I sneaked back in the back door and rejoined the party. My date and I slept in the spare bedroom that night. When I woke up the next morning, I was in the bed naked, and my date and my clothes were nowhere to be found. I could hear all the guys saying "that's what she gets." I think my date overreacted. Does he sound like a creep? Or did I really get what I deserved
POLL: Who's wrong?
 
11% (261) The woman
 
23% (554) The man
 
64% (1486) Both of them
 
0% (20) The other man
2321 people have voted in this poll. (This poll is not active.)
Murgatroyd
Lover

Posts: 300

Registered:
Jan 2008
Re: Hide 'n' Go Sneak (Score: 1)
posted Friday, October 24, 2008 - 04:08 AM (#45610)

Where to begin, where to begin ...

#1 - Good God, girl, get a frickin' clue! These people are creeps. All of them. Get a better class of friends!

#2 - "My date and I slept in the spare bedroom that night." Just sleeping? Or was there boinking, too? Either way, the lesson here is don't sleep in strangers' houses.

#3 - "When I woke up the next morning, I was in the bed naked, and my date and my clothes were nowhere to be found." Assuming that you didn't take off your clothes yourself, then ... you were molested. Really. Even if you weren't actually raped. Call the cops. And if you were stripped while you were asleep, you may have been drugged. (Of course, if you voluntarily got naked, the above doesn't apply. You're just trusting and a little dim.)

#4 - "Does he sound like a creep?" How can you even ask this question? Does a bear defecate in the forest?

#5 - "Or did I really get what I deserved?" Maybe. Why do you think you deserved that? Do you possibly, just possibly, think you acted like a slut? If you do, then do you intend to continue?


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NunyaBidness
Lover

Posts: 83

Registered:
Apr 2008
Re: Hide 'n' Go Sneak (Score: 1)
posted Friday, October 24, 2008 - 09:16 AM (#45611)

Does "Dating for a few weeks" constitute a contract?

You might be wrong to do so and not talk about it, but he's DEFINITELY wrong, and as he clearly boasted to his friends, he's beyond creep.

I concur with Murgatroyd. You may have been drugged and raped. You should have gotten checked at once.

In any case, review your behavior, but dump this sack of crap now. Don't call, don't apologize, just break contact and never let him near you again, for any reason.


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TheOriginalJes
Lover

Posts: 205

Registered:
Jan 2008
Re: Hide 'n' Go Sneak (Score: 1)
posted Friday, October 24, 2008 - 09:35 AM (#45612)

It sounds to me like you failed a test. An immature test, but an accurate one.

Yes, your (hopefully now ex-) boyfriend is a real creep. He may have had trust issues with you. He may have even sent this "stranger" over to check you out for him.

Whether he did or didn't, you were at a party of *his* friends. You should have known that there's no such thing as sneaking, and he was destined to find out about the kiss. Were you trying to piss him off? Because if my girlfriend kissed a guy she didn't know at a party of my friends, I would probably set off the siezemometers at Cal-tech. (And I live in Georgia.)

Whether or not his punishment was an over-reaction is up in the air. I don't know what kind of relationship you two have had over those few weeks. You both seem irrational and immature. Or, perhaps, you just learned a valuable lesson in mutual respect.


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TheOriginalJes
Lover

Posts: 205

Registered:
Jan 2008
Re: Hide 'n' Go Sneak (Score: 1)
posted Friday, October 24, 2008 - 09:37 AM (#45613)
In Response to NunyaBidness (#45611):

After reading her question, I wouldn't believe that she were drugged or raped.


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jamesschardt
Lover

From: Ft. Campbell, KY

Posts: 3

Registered:
Feb 2008
Re: Hide 'n' Go Sneak (Score: 1)
posted Friday, October 24, 2008 - 10:01 AM (#45614)

Good lord, where to start on this one! OK, believe it or not, you got very lucky. If winding up naked is all that happened to you you got lucky. This scenario could have ended in date rape. This guy and his friends are all creeps and worse. Break all contact. Do not return his phone calls. Get away from him and his.

I voted both because you engaged in some very high risk behavior as well. A party with people you barely know. I doubt there were many women at this party. There were probably many warning signs you either did not know or ignored. Google rape prevention find the warning signs I'm talking about.

This being said, nobody deserves that. What happened to you could be described as sexual assault (I'm going off the Army's definition which may differ from the civilian legal one).

Finally, get yourself some self confidence and self esteem before you go dating anybody else. That there is even a question in your mind about his behavior shocks me. YES! HE'S A JERK!


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Stevarooni
Lover

From: KCMO

Posts: 64

Registered:
Jun 2008
Re: Hide 'n' Go Sneak (Score: 1)
posted Friday, October 24, 2008 - 11:33 AM (#45617)

A more wretched hive of scum and villainy, you'll never find....

Yeah, both of you were wrong on this one. He was way, way, out of line (quite a disproportionate response) in leaving you without clothes at someone else's house. I don't think that making out with some other guy (when obviously that wasn't an understanding the two of you had) was great, but not quite on the same scale.


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solstice
Lover

Posts: 1

Registered:
Oct 2008
Re: Hide 'n' Go Sneak (Score: 1)
posted Friday, October 24, 2008 - 05:08 PM (#45620)

Wait, he's upset that you kissed another guy. I get that. But then he left you naked for all of his buddies to presumably look at? He is definitely confused. And a creep.

And you should be calling the police to get your wallet and keys back. Prank or getting back at you, that's still theft.


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TheOriginalJes
Lover

Posts: 205

Registered:
Jan 2008
Re: Hide 'n' Go Sneak (Score: 1)
posted Friday, October 24, 2008 - 07:07 PM (#45621)
In Response to Stevarooni (#45617):

- jamesschardt said

"This scenario could have ended in date rape."-

Could have...maybe. Let's not send her for a rape-kit just yet. There have been a couple of tense comments made along that line. But we shouldn't claim he has other character traits than what he's demonstrated. After all, it seems she's not questioning how her clothes came off, or why she fell asleep.

But, since he believed this was acceptable behavior, he obviously doesn't value human life to any meaningful extend. Some sort of incident report may be in order.

If the two of them are under 20 years old, she may want to tell both of their parents about the incident. In any case, I'd be hesitant to call the police. But, someone with specific training needs to guide her. The sooner, the better.

You are right that she did get lucky. She paid a relatively cheap price for a very valuable lesson.

@ Steverooni's comment -

It's not on the same scale, but it is in the same vein, if you look at it from the boyfriend's point of view. I'm not saying he was right, or justified. Just understandable...

It's about embarrassment. She embarrassed him, so he embarrassed her. All he really did (in his mind) was one-up her by sending her on a naked Walk-Of-Shame.

Leaving her alone and naked in a house full of strangers is where could have become criminally negligent, if anything tragic had happened to her.

I'm sure he just thought it was funny (what a dumbass!), since movies have capitalized on that sort of dark humor since the sixties.


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Paulius
Lover

Posts: 13

Registered:
Aug 2008
Re: Hide 'n' Go Sneak (Score: 1)
posted Saturday, October 25, 2008 - 07:32 PM (#45624)

Okay, your boyfriend is DEFINITELY an asshole and in the wrong here. Leaving you naked in a house full of strangers is indefensible and wrong.

On the other hand, you thought it was acceptable to kiss another guy at a party your boyfriend invited you to...because he 'wasn't really paying attention to you'.

All I'm going to say is, how would you feel if you'd caught your boyfriend kissing someone else, with his excuse being you were talking to your friends instead of focusing all your attention on him?

Basically, yeah, your boyfriend is an immature ass...but you deserve each other.


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MrD3071
Lover

Posts: 7

Registered:
Oct 2008
Re: Hide 'n' Go Sneak (Score: 1)
posted Sunday, October 26, 2008 - 08:13 AM (#45626)
In Response to TheOriginalJes (#45613):

Seconded i think people are over-reacting a little to this, even so its not the main point of the question.

Now to the point!

You claim you were dating for a few weeks, so nothing too serious as of yet then right? Well that would mean hes over reacting, but even so if your with someone offically or unoffically for the love of, dont go around making out with other people.

Hell you wouldn't like it if he did it to you i'd bet, so dont do it, and seriously, alcohol is NO exscuse (just for future references, dont blame alcohol, its a PATHETIC exscuse, seriously its been done how many times and hasn't worked?)

End of the day he did over react but he was provoked, think about that next time!


--
'Love is the light that dissolves the walls between people, countries and humanities'
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BillyName99
Lover

Posts: 6

Registered:
Apr 2008
Re: Hide 'n' Go Sneak (Score: 1)
posted Sunday, October 26, 2008 - 02:54 PM (#45628)

Yeah, The guy is an asshole. He is the type of immature little boyman that makes all of our half of the species look bad.

The way see it, If he had an issue with you hanging with that other guy and kissing him, he should have had the cojones to say something to your face instead of playing a juvenile prank like that.

So ditch him. cut him off. no calls, no txt msgs, no email nothing.
If he calls you or tries to contact, you, get a restraining order.


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Jorn
Jorn

Lover

Posts: 20

Registered:
Nov 2007
Re: Hide 'n' Go Sneak (Score: 1)
posted Monday, October 27, 2008 - 06:30 AM (#45631)

I think that both parties were in the wrong, but I also think there's some condemnation of the (assumedly former) boyfriend that may not be warrented. Particularly the phrase "nowhere to be found", which is very open ended. That obviously means he wasn't in the room, but was he in the house, or did he leave the area completely? If he was waiting downstairs in the kitchen with your clothes, then he was embarrassing you like you embarressed him. If he wasn't there at all anymore, then I don't think a restraining order will be necessary; Him leaving you naked was his way of dumping you.


--
Sa souvraya niende missain ye; I am lost in my own mind.
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darkmayo
Lover

Posts: 1

Registered:
Oct 2008
Re: Hide 'n' Go Sneak (Score: 1)
posted Monday, October 27, 2008 - 01:14 PM (#45632)

Both wrong.

He is a creep for stealing your clothes, and your a twit for thinking that smooching another man at a party that your boyfriend invited you to was a good idea.

Either way, he's a jerk and your fickle with your affection so best to move on and find someone else.


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