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POLL RESULTS: Tantric sex: (12 comments)

POLL: Tantric sex

Friday, June 12, 2009 - 12:00 AM

A reader writes...Q: My wife wants to try tantric sex. I think it sounds incredibly boring. Should I try it?

Special bonus comic

I couldn't decide between two ideas for today's comic, so I decided on the one that would work better in the newspaper and inked the other just for you guys.


POLL: Tantric Sex... boring?
 
41% (276) Yes.
 
29% (196) No.
 
29% (197) Sex without orgasm? I've been giving my partner that for years!
669 people have voted in this poll. (This poll is not active.)
Gruhl
Lover

Posts: 6

Registered:
May 2009
Re: POLL: Tantric sex (Score: 1)
posted Friday, June 12, 2009 - 12:57 AM (#48179)

Hey, not that I really am an expert, but anything without drugs and without risk of g.b.h. (grievious bodily harm) is worth trying at least once, if it has the word sex in it. Especially if your steady partner suggests it.

How bad could it end up?
1: Turns out you both enjoy the closeness --- all peachy!

2: Turns out your wife likes it but you find it boring --- Ok, so do it now and then, to give your wife happiness...perhaps you can sleep through it?

3: Turns out neither of you enjoy it --- Ok, so do something you do enjoy then, still all peachy except for the fact that your wife probably feels your sexlife needs a change, so do try doing something new.

4: Worst case, you like it, wifey does not --- Ouch... But perhaps she will do it some to be nice to you, but do consider point 3, try to find new and inventive ways to bring your wife to the top of the tower of pleasure.

Or might be I'm just being a silly fool, and something entirely different happens. In that case, don't blame me, I'm no expert. I said so at the top.


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DanialArin
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Posts: 92

Registered:
Apr 2009
Re: POLL: Tantric sex (Score: 1)
posted Friday, June 12, 2009 - 01:22 AM (#48180)
According to chapter 21 of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Amazing Sex (3rd edition), that's not really how it works. The "no-climax" thing is not a required part of the equation, nor is the "lying there visualizing auras" thing. The basic idea is you spend time being intimate and work your way along slowly. Draw it out so that it lasts longer, and really bond with your partner. The question is, what does your wife want or expect out of Tantra?
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Snobahr
Lover

Posts: 15

Registered:
Jan 2008
Re: POLL: Tantric sex (Score: 1)
posted Friday, June 12, 2009 - 02:00 AM (#48181)

O NOEZ! U MIT TRI SUMTHING NU!

 Give it a try. When was the last time you and your wife tried something new, sexually or non-sexually? What, you've never fantasized anything in bed? Never thought your wife fantasized something? And even if you find it boring afterwards, don't pass judgement on it until you've actually tried it.

 Have fun. If nothing else, you'll have something to laugh about, later. And if you can't laugh at sex, you've got more wrong than tantric issues.


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Caffeine
Lover

Posts: 46

Registered:
Feb 2009
Re: POLL: Tantric sex (Score: 1)
posted Friday, June 12, 2009 - 06:57 AM (#48189)

As far as I know, Tantric sex is not about having sex without orgasm. It is, however, more about the way than the goal. It is also about intimacy and enjoying yourself and your partner, and there are many interesting suggestions... so why not give it a try? Go find out more about it (on the internet, in bookstores, wherever), and then try it out!

The thing behind it, on the other hand, is WHY your wife wants to try it out. Does she like the spiritual aspect? Does she want to try out new things? Does she feel your relationship lacks something? Or did she just hear about it and thought it might be fun?


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TheOriginalJes
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Posts: 205

Registered:
Jan 2008
Re: POLL: Tantric sex (Score: 1)
posted Friday, June 12, 2009 - 09:03 AM (#48190)

Try it.

A sexual activity that's been around that long must have something good to offer.

Also, everything I've heard about it leans toward delaying male orgasm for female satisfaction.

It seems to me, she might just be calling you out as a "One Pump Chump". Learning something new may just be in order.


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nemodos
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From: Saint Louis, MO

Posts: 10

Registered:
Apr 2009
Re: POLL: Tantric sex (Score: 1)
posted Friday, June 12, 2009 - 09:49 AM (#48191)

It seems like you've done minimal research on the topic. All you say about it is it sounds "incredibly boring." How about reading up on it before you decide whether to try it or not? Ask your wife where she got the idea, and maybe even ask her why she suggested it. Maybe she got a great review of it from a friend; maybe she was reading something in the library or online. Maybe you'll be interested too, if you do a bit of research first.


--
Me gustas cuando callas porque estás como ausente... --Pablo Neruda
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quixotecoyote
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Posts: 11

Registered:
May 2009
Re: POLL: Tantric sex (Score: 1)
posted Friday, June 12, 2009 - 10:43 AM (#48192)

I see a lot of people commenting on what Tantric sex is.

The question in my mind is, what does the writer's wife think tantric sex is?

If the wife thinks it's just sex without orgasm and wants to try that, I'd say both boring and probably indicative of larger issues.


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TheOriginalJes
Lover

Posts: 205

Registered:
Jan 2008
Re: POLL: Tantric sex (Score: 1)
posted Friday, June 12, 2009 - 11:44 AM (#48193)
In Response to quixotecoyote (#48192):

Do you mean to imply that it may be code for something one of her past boyfriends taught her?


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quixotecoyote
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Posts: 11

Registered:
May 2009
Re: POLL: Tantric sex (Score: 1)
posted Friday, June 12, 2009 - 08:21 PM (#48196)
In Response to TheOriginalJes (#48193):

Not exactly.

I'm saying that if the wife thinks that Tantric sex is just regular sex without organism, he's got a pretty good case for thinking it's going to be boring and/or frustrating.


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DanialArin
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Posts: 92

Registered:
Apr 2009
Re: POLL: Tantric sex (Score: 1)
posted Sunday, June 14, 2009 - 03:10 AM (#48199)
In Response to quixotecoyote (#48196):

There are really four questions...

1. What does the wife think that Tantric sex is?

2. What does the poster think that Tantric sex is?

3. What does the cartoonist think that Tantric sex is?

4. What does the "Tantric sex community" think that Tantric sex is?

The comic presents it as closeness without sex, based on the "no-orgasm" premise.

If the poster or his wife have the same point of view as that presented by the cartoon, then yeah that's likely to be boring unless you're inclined to pure spiritualism and/or mysticism for its/their own sake. And the poster apparently is not so inclined.

But from what (little) I've read on the subject, it seems that the cartoon and the "Tantrix sex community" have very different ideas on the matter. The poster should find out what his wife believes it is, by asking her rather than making assumptions, and doing the research to find out why this practice hasn't died out due to lack of satisfaction. He'll probably be pleasantly surprised.


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jtallguy
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Posts: 5

Registered:
Jun 2009
Re: POLL: Tantric sex (Score: 1)
posted Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - 12:07 PM (#48205)

So, am I the only person on this list who's actually *tried* tantric sex? I was into it for a while about 10 years back, but eventually chose to stop, not because it was 'boring', but rather because it was so intense I found it overwhelming.

Among other things I learned to do was to separate ejaculation from orgasm -- that is to say, I was able to have all the physical and mental sensations of orgasm sustained for long periods of time without the physical release that brings everything to a halt. Kinda the way I suppose women experience it.

Your mileage may vary, of course. I couldn't take the intensity after a while. But I'd never describe it as boring.


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ocelot_wreak
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Posts: 1

Registered:
Jun 2009
Re: POLL: Tantric sex (Score: 1)
posted Saturday, June 20, 2009 - 01:42 PM (#48261)

I've read about it, taken a course on it and practiced it. It is more about moving sexual energy up the body rather than just having an orgasm during sex. It can be very enjoyable, intimate, profound, and means you can enjoy yourselves for a lot longer when you both practice the tantra exercises. It certainly doesn't mean you don't have an orgasm! In fact with practice you can have many orgasms while having sex, and it also makes it much easier to have an orgasm at the same time as your partner does. Bonus!


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