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POLL RESULTS: And The Hits Keep On Coming...: (30 comments)
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Jorn
Jorn

Lover

Posts: 20

Registered:
Nov 2007
Re: And The Hits Keep On Coming... (Score: 1)
posted Monday, October 19, 2009 - 06:27 AM (#49711)

It's apparent that you've already tried talking to her about this, repeatedly. Several people have said Leave, I disagree. Don't leave. Type up a letter detailing the issues and incidents, stating that you love her and want to be with her, but can't unless she gets help. Put the letter in an envelope, address it to her (it may be good to have send a copy elsewhere as other have suggested). While she's at work, tape the letter to the front door and have the locks changed.

Don't let her back into your home or back into your life until she gets help. It'll be hard for you to do this, but it'll be much harder if she does serious injury, or kills you in a "hormonal" rage.

If she really loves you she'll get help. If she doesn't love you enough to get help, if she doesn't love you enough to stop hurting you, then she doesn't love you at all.


--
Sa souvraya niende missain ye; I am lost in my own mind.
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somebody
Lover

Posts: 3

Registered:
Jan 2009
Re: And The Hits Keep On Coming... (Score: 1)
posted Monday, October 19, 2009 - 09:19 AM (#49714)

Hey buddy,

Instead of suggesting ANGER MANAGEMENT, maybe you should suggest COUPLES counseling to deal with the underlying jealousy issues.

Yea, she's in the wrong. But being right/wrong has nothing to do with having a healthy relationship.

You're right: here is your award. Now make a rational decision about your desire to be in the relationship. If you want to be in, ask her to go to couples therapy with you, and assure her that it's to help BOTH of you work on your MUTUAL problems together.


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SgtMustache
Lover

Posts: 2

Registered:
Oct 2009
Re: And The Hits Keep On Coming... (Score: 1)
posted Monday, October 19, 2009 - 10:13 AM (#49715)

Get Out. Now.
I was in an abusive relationship; years later I found out that she had been abused as a child, and like the old saying, as the twig is bent, so grows the tree.
Her only relationships were either sex-driven or based on the abusive behaviour she was raised in.
Counseling would help, but ONLY if she went...and she didn't.

Get out NOW.
If you have to, find friends to help you move out when she is away for work. DO NOT take ANYTHING of hers. Be very careful about this.
I've had to help a couple friends this way, and it made the breakups easier.

She would have changed this if she wanted to, but as long as you eat her crap (and take the hits) YOU'LL be the one continuing it.

Bail out. Run away. Move.
Uh, did I say leave, too?


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Arktik
Lover

Posts: 4

Registered:
Oct 2009
Re: And The Hits Keep On Coming... (Score: 1)
posted Tuesday, October 20, 2009 - 11:29 AM (#49726)

If the worst happens and you end up in court, be sure to provide your attorney with a detailed log of each incident. Try and recall each time she has been violent, the date, her and yours exact actions, what set her off, her excuse afterward, and did you suggest counceling at the time.
Documentation is the only thing that will support you in our f'ed court system. Men are stuck with the 'take it like a man' stigma and are obligated to forgive everything a woman does whether it be violence or infidelity. Women on the other hand are encouraged to take advantage of the legal system because 'they owe it to themselves'.
Do you think that she would have endured the marriage for 6 years if you had been the violent one? No effing way. Your butt would be in jail and she would be living off of your bank account.
You have a difficult choice to make.


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Murgatroyd
Lover

Posts: 300

Registered:
Jan 2008
Re: And The Hits Keep On Coming... (Score: 1)
posted Wednesday, October 21, 2009 - 01:32 AM (#49737)

A cautionary tale: Phil Hartman [wikipedia.org].


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