@DanialArin Certainly it cost Vanessa Williams her Miss America crown, and she parleyed her subsequent controversy into a modest acting career unlike 90% of the beauty contest winners who generally disappear after winning that year's contest. Overall I think Vanessa Williams came out ahead in the deal.

Let me be a little less succinct then. Men and women have different emotional needs that are fulfilled by each other in a healthy relationship. At the top of a man's list of needs is sex, and at the top of a woman's list is emotional security. Men don't really understand "emotional security," but we are highly motivated to fill that need anyway, because without it, women will never be "in the mood." So we buy you flowers, listen to you talk about your day, and endure discussions on the state of our relationship. It's a lot of effort and it doesn't come natural.

It is most likely that your man will always prefer live sex with you to watching a porn vid that you make together. But if he has a tape, he can watch it and get at least some degree of sexual satisfaction whenever he wants without ever having to do anything for you. The existence of the tape will have a negative effect on your relationship whether or not anyone else ever sees it.

Ask yourself this: If he already has you, live and in person, why does he need a sex tape of you?

People often go overseas or are away at certain times. Leaving a Man alone and unfulfilled and he will generally use the internet to fuel his "alone time" but having something a bit more familiar like a picture/video of a girlfriend is always a nice treat.

That being said, I'm a Man and i said Yes!

Given that this is a mature relationship, not some high school fling that could end as quickly as it started. You should then rely on your judgement.

If the guy is nice, mature and responsible, the tape will probably never see the light of day other than him watching it when you're not around.

There is an extreme amount of alarmist behaviour on show here.
I can not honestly say how much "real" girlfriend porn I've come across on the internet, my bet would be, not a lot.

How much have i come across with people i actually know? 2 pictures, which were placed stupidly (aka, computer background at a mates place).

If this were as big a problem as you hear, MANY more people would have seen each others partners and ex-partners naked.

By all means be careful. However, don't let fear hold you back from expressing yourself with your partner.

Damn the prudes, they're probably just jealous they can't be that open with their desire ;)

(Just because I'm enjoying the debate...)

-"If this were as big a problem as you hear, MANY more people would have seen each others partners and ex-partners naked."-

Are you basing this on couples vs. sightings, or known pics vs. known sightings?

I think the real point that your missing is not that making the film is a bad idea; but, rather that the mere fact that she's hesitant is raising red flags to the level of maturity and trust in the relationship.

-"How much have i come across with people i actually know? 2 pictures, which were placed stupidly (aka, computer background at a mates place)."-

Ok, so you've actually seen it because someone was careless. All you're really proving is:

- outting one's partner doesn't have to be malicious;

- there's one more person in this forum who's witnessed that it can happen, pushing the statistics further into the "beware" category.

Whether or not you found it personally distasteful or salacious is basically irrelevant. She's already expressed that she doesn't want others to see the video.

[Permission to say "lawyered"? :D ]

-"By all means be careful. However, don't let fear hold you back from expressing yourself with your partner."-

She doesn't seem to have a problem with expressing herself physically with her partner. She just doesn't want to do it for the public.

-"Damn the prudes, they're probably just jealous they can't be that open with their desire ;)"-

Is that a secret desire to google the video peaking through? ;P

I know I'm a little late to the party, but here's my two cents:

The question doesn't state that you've had reservations but are thinking of doing it anyway, simply that your boyfriend has talked to you about it in the past, so I'm not going to infer any doubts on your part that may not exist. Yes, there's a fair amount of alarmist comments here, but while there are factors to be concerned about, they are not universal.

If you trust him enough to make the video, then you should trust him enough to keep it private- though you may want to make sure he knows that it's just for him and not to be shared with his buddies. If he's a decent guy, even if you break up he's unlikely to post the video online (and if he's not a decent guy you shouldn't be dating him anyway) and unless you're a celebrity nobody is going to try and steal it. If you decide to run for president one day, destroy the tape, but otherwise, go for it.

And the people suggesting that the video will replace you are stupid- no man would dump his girlfriend because he has a sex tape of her; even limiting the thinking to the sex aspect of the relationship, a recording of a single session could never replace future sessions of actual sex.