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Original Comment:

POLL: Good for the Goose?

Friday, March 12, 2010 - 12:00 AM

A reader writes... Q: My wife has a male friend whom she met a few years before me.

While we were dating, she would often say that her friend, Gary, had been trying to sleep with her since the day they met. She would occasionally share with me the sexually charged comments and conversation that they would have. The few times I’ve met him, he gave me a clear vibe of jealousy. One day I mentioned to my wife that a co-worker and I had gone out to lunch. It happened to be Valentine’s Day, but neither of us gave that a second thought. (I had sent a dozen roses each to my wife and her mother as a token of my love for them.)

My co-worker talked a lot about her boyfriend, and I was just sharing information about my day. My wife immediately went into a rage, and dogged me about this relationship until I was forced basically to give it up.

Her reasons for wanting me to end the relationship were her “intuition” and the fact that she didn’t trust my co-worker. Right now, I am at the peak of my resentment. I resent my wife for forcing me to end an innocent relationship, while she gets to carry on a friendship that for the most part doesn’t seem to be in our best interest. I feel disrespected and hurt deeply. Every time I see the hours that they spend on the phone together and the multiple text messages, I feel like I have been slapped in the face.

I feel like she can force me to abide by her rules, but she considers herself above them. I want her to end the relationship with her friend. What should I do? I feel like my marriage is hinging on this outcome.

POLL: What should he do
1% (28) Continue to see his friend in secret
56% (1406) Insist his wife end her relationship with *her* friend
33% (834) See a divorce lawyer. This is the tip of the iceberg
5% (126) Take a "wait and see" attitude
4% (101) Make a new friend. And learn to text.
2495 people have voted in this poll. (This poll is not active.)

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