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POLL RESULTS: Inter-orifice romance: (8 comments)

POLL: Inter-orifice romance

Friday, September 17, 2010 - 12:00 AM

A reader writes... Q: I was approached at work by a girl I was very attracted to. She gave me her number and we went out two times in three days. Both dates, she told me how much she liked me and wanted to be with me and I felt the same. I had a vacation planned with friends the following week. When I returned she acted if she was annoyed that I didn’t call her during my vacation and blew me off. I texted her one time while away. Since we had only gone out twice, I didn’t think it was a huge deal, but I apologized. I even gave her flowers. Well, because I didn’t call her when I was on vacation, it opened the door for her to reunite with her ex, and now she wants nothing to do with me. There are several problems here: Her sister works for me and because I feel I have been played, I have not been as pleasant to her. How do I handle both sisters at work?


POLL: It is never, ever OK to date someone at work...
 
35% (464) I'm a man, and I say, "Yes! This is NEVER a good idea!"
 
44% (585) I'm a man, and I say, "Well... sometimes..."
 
7% (97) I'm a man, and I say, "No! It's perfectly OK!"
 
4% (59) I'm a woman, and I say, "Yes! This is NEVER a good idea!"
 
7% (103) I'm a woman, and I say, "Well... sometimes..."
 
0% (10) I'm a woman, and I say, "No! It's perfectly OK!"
1318 people have voted in this poll. (This poll is not active.)
DanialArin
Lover

Posts: 92

Registered:
Apr 2009
Re: POLL: Inter-orifice romance (Score: 0)
posted Sunday, September 19, 2010 - 10:51 PM (#57000)

For starters, you need to stop taking your frustration out on the sister. Keep it as professional as possible going forward, with both of them.

You texted the woman you'd dated while you were away... Did she reply? How far into the week did you send it?

Another way to look at it... Because you'd only been out twice, and that less than a week before taking this vacation, the relationship was too early for either of you to have had any possessiveness... Bottom line, unless she'd taken that trip with you, she probably would have gone back with the ex regardless.


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vorlonagent
Lover

Posts: 55

Registered:
Oct 2009
Re: POLL: Inter-orifice romance (Score: 0)
posted Monday, September 20, 2010 - 02:14 AM (#57001)

The one comment says almost everything.

Now you know why work and dating is a volatile combination. Maybe there are times it's fine, but Here Be Dragons! Never mix the two lightly.

The second thing is stop dumping your feelings for this girl on her sister. Aside from being rude, you're potentially exposing yourself and your company to a lawsuit.

Third thing: Both of you are acting a little funny for a two-date relationship. Something you're not telling us?


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CasualNotice
Lover

Posts: 49

Registered:
Jun 2008
Re: POLL: Inter-orifice romance (Score: 0)
posted Monday, September 20, 2010 - 05:52 AM (#57006)

It's fine to date fellow employees as long as (1) you dont drift into harrassment terrirtory, and (2) you grow up and act like a professional adult and not a sulky teenager.

Get past Miss 2Dates and stop punishing her sister for something over which she had no control. That sort of drama may be fine for summer camp councellors or theme park employees, but grown ups handle their relationships in a mature fashion.


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ProtoMickey
Lover

Posts: 3

Registered:
Sep 2010
Re: POLL: Inter-orifice romance (Score: 0)
posted Monday, September 20, 2010 - 07:59 AM (#57007)

Even though it was only two dates in three days, a short call halfway through just to see how her week was going would have been a good idea. However, based on her overreaction, you dodged a clingy and possessive bullet.

You didn't get played. You would have been had it she done it on purpose and been lying the whole time (and you've said nothing to suggest she had been.)

What it looks like to me is that you went on a couple dates with a clingy girl and you didn't do what you were expected to do.

It was two dates. If two dates isn't a big enough deal to call her while you were gone for a vacation, then it's not a big enough deal to be getting so upset about it.

Man up, shrug it off, and most importantly, apologize to her sister for being "not as pleasant to her," (which I'm guessing is the nice way of saying "being a jerk.")


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elstreak
Lover

Posts: 5

Registered:
Jan 2008
Re: POLL: Inter-orifice romance (Score: 0)
posted Monday, September 20, 2010 - 08:25 AM (#57009)

If he could only be bothered to send her one text in the week he was away, he wasn't that into her. He knew the relationship wasn't going anywhere important, and I suspect the only reason he's upset is that he didn't get to close the deal before it burned out (with maybe a little bruised ego because he likes to do the dumping). Let it go, and stop picking on the poor sister.


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Capesnbabes
Lover

Posts: 5

Registered:
Jan 2008
Re: POLL: Inter-orifice romance (Score: 0)
posted Monday, September 20, 2010 - 08:52 AM (#57010)

First of all, this is again one of the reasons why so many people are wary about inter-office romances. they are fine while they are going on but once the heat settles or a break-up ensues, THAT'S when things get REALLY complicated.

To me, it does sound a little bit like you got played a bit... As if the only reason the sister went out with you in the first place was so she could make her ex jealous & want to take her back.
I also agree though, that after only two dates, if this is the reaction you got after the whole 1 text message during a vacation thing, maybe this isn't such a bad thing. Sounds like this might have ended up being a high maintenance, drama-filled relationship from the very beginning.
Still though, it takes two to tango. Maybe a phone call instead of a text message would have been a better way to go? Still though, it still sounds to me as if the whole vacation thing was just an easy way for her to use that as an excuse to get back with her ex.
In the meantime, I agree with the the others... it's time to make amends with the truly innocent party here - the OTHER sister. She had nothing to do with burning you or treating you bad. Not all sisters are the same and, having a wife who has several sisters, I can also tell you they don't always agree with what the other sisters do either.
Maybe instead of treating her like an emotional punching bag, she could have been a sympathetic ear...

Just my two cents, of course...


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jasonred
Lover

Posts: 20

Registered:
Feb 2008
Re: POLL: Inter-orifice romance (Score: 0)
posted Wednesday, September 22, 2010 - 03:11 AM (#57041)

Played? Come on man. I'd expect this sort of response from women, but from a guy? You went on 2 dates, then she decided to get back together with her ex. Big whooping deal. You seem like a guy with strong prospects. I'm sure you'll find other chicks which catch your fancy.
Now, if she had asked you to bring her out for lots of fancy events or bought her some nice things, that might be cause for grumbling.
But 2 dates? I know some people who say, "as long as you're not married, you still have freedom to choose your own dates"


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Murgatroyd
Lover

Posts: 300

Registered:
Jan 2008
Re: POLL: Inter-orifice romance (Score: 0)
posted Wednesday, September 22, 2010 - 03:14 AM (#57042)

The original poster might have dodged a bullet. The girl at work apparently had just broken up with her boyfriend, and on the rebound she seems to have decided that OP was her true love. Impulsive and clingy.

On the other hand, she might have dodged a bullet: Both dates, she told me how much she liked me and wanted to be with me and I felt the same. Dude, don't say things like that if you don't mean them! And then to abruptly go away for a week and only text her, and only one time? Jeeze, that's cold.

Worse, now OP thinks he's been wronged and is taking it out on her innocent sister. Grow the frak up!


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