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POLL RESULTS: The winds of change: (7 comments)

POLL: The winds of change

Friday, November 12, 2010 - 12:00 AM

A reader writes... Q: About a month ago, my wife let out a very audible fart while we were having sex. I’m embarrassed to admit this, but it kind of turned me on. She was mortified and refused to continue, then was a bit distant for a few days after. So I told her how I felt, figuring it would give her a good laugh. Instead, she was disgusted. Now she thinks I’m some sort of deviant. Is there anything I can do to help her move along with me?
POLL: What should he do?
 
73% (874) Don't cause a stink. Let it pass.
 
6% (77) Embrace it. So you put the "whoopie" in "whoopie cushion." Surely she can appreciate that.
 
1% (23) It's not worth a divorce, but maybe a woman on the side to one-cheek-sneak around town with...
 
2% (26) Leave her. The winds of change are a-blowin'
 
16% (194) So she doesn't like farts. How does she feel about queefs?
1194 people have voted in this poll. (This poll is not active.)
Azerik
Lover

Posts: 35

Registered:
Apr 2009
Re: POLL: The winds of change (Score: 0)
posted Friday, November 12, 2010 - 12:37 AM (#57471)

I've looked at it for several minutes and I still don't know how to vote.

I have had a situation like this happen to me, and my wife and I just laughed. I suppose the level of humor would depend on positioning and the geometry involved, as long as nobody got a face full...I'd just laugh.

The sticky wicket here is his reaction and her reaction. Yes, it would be natural to be mortified. My finding humor in the situation probably largely arises from being married for 20 years. If this were in the first couple of years, maybe there would be more embarrassment. Refusing to continue however, that's a bit extreme. Being distant for a few days afterward is even more worrisome.

His getting turned on...that's a bit icky. I guess it would depend on precisely what was the turn on. Was it the smell? The orifice involved? Something else? Maybe just flattered that things were so "hot and heavy" as to relax her into a reaction like that. If it were more scatological then I'd have a hard time faulting her reaction to his reaction. I'm not sure there's counseling that would cover a situation like that.

Certainly there needs to be some more comfort and relaxation built up in this relationship. If this is smoke from another fire, then couple's counseling would probably not go amiss. If it's just an early stage in the relationship where you are still on your best behavior, then just work on relaxing around each other. Passing gas in front of your spouse should not be a big deal, everyone does it, on average 14 times per day (real research, didn't just make that number up). Your marriage shouldn't be endangered by a bit of wind, no matter how big or small.


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Henchman21
Lover

Posts: 9

Registered:
Oct 2010
Re: POLL: The winds of change (Score: 0)
posted Friday, November 12, 2010 - 02:12 AM (#57472)

First off, let me state that I run with a fairly diverse group of perverts. That is to say, I know a lot of people who are turned on by a variety of things that most people would find awkward, wierd, and in some cases just plain disgusting. But who's to say that's really a bad thing? That being said, arousal from breaking wind is rather tame to my standards. I don't get the turn on, but just the same, I understand it.

Now, most of me and my fellow perverts understand that we are a minority (or at the least in the minority for admitting what we like in a more or less public environment. Re: IRL, not relatively anonymous postings), but even more than that we understand that our sexual preferences are not the same thing as emotions. As the old saying (mostly) goes, the heart wills as it does (or something of that nature, anyway); and to perv that up, chances are you're going to fall in love with someone who's not into that really fun thing you do with three ducks and a hairnet, and the more out there it is the less likely they're going to want o try it out, too. Add in the fact that it involves a bodily function that polite society would prefer remained only in the kinds of movies that can be politely snubbed.... well, Give her some time. Don't be too insistent, and yeah, give it some thought. What, specifically, was the turn on? Since you are married, it IS possible that something subconsciously connected the fart with her being intimate enough with you to do it, further establishing an neo-emotional response (aside: Okay, I mentioned earlier that preference doesn't dictate emotion. Well, the opposite is not quite as true. Those we are emotional with we are more likely to share preferences with, even if we don't quite like them as much as we say... at least at the start. Of course both these topics could be expounded upon greatly, but that is the purview of more dedicated professionals than myself). Or maybe you just find women breaking wind sexy.

At any rate, I, personally, wouldn't press the issue (er... probably. Maybe. Hell, maybe I'd just be too curious to not ask? Doesn't matter, this isn't about me...), but operating off the assumption that you do indeed love each other, give her some space, and talk about it when it's time to do so. Like when you're both ready to talk about it. Who knows, maybe she's into something you wouldn't have thought of yourself? (again, don't push it. Not all of us are ready to admit to our perversity just yet. ;D)


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vorlonagent
Lover

Posts: 55

Registered:
Oct 2009
Re: POLL: The winds of change (Score: 0)
posted Friday, November 12, 2010 - 12:49 PM (#57477)

What they said.

It isn't anything serious unless you make it something serious. and it's already halfway there.

As best you can, try to maintain normal emotional connection. Something about this affected her in opposite way from you.


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abb3w
Lover

Posts: 46

Registered:
Jan 2008
Re: POLL: The winds of change (Score: 0)
posted Saturday, November 13, 2010 - 12:02 AM (#57482)
The reaction does suggest she has a... restricted sense of humor. (Not exactly a stick up her butt, from the evidence, but something related.) I don't know if reading the Canterbury Tales as a bedtime story might help. However, you've wed; it's probably easier to let this become one of those unexamined areas of your life than invest in lawyers.

You might try salvaging it with an "everything about you is sexy" approach, but I make no promises that will help. Contrariwse, from a purely theoretical standpoint I'd expect D-and-S roleplay and "swinging" should be crossed off your suggestion list until you see much more signs of a uninhibited sense of humor (and probably permanently).
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Rhianimator
Lover

Posts: 1

Registered:
Nov 2010
Re: POLL: The winds of change (Score: 0)
posted Sunday, November 14, 2010 - 09:20 AM (#57489)

Sex is messy and awkward. Best to just accept that was one of the more awkward moments and move on.


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Voob
Lover

Posts: 1

Registered:
Nov 2010
Re: POLL: The winds of change (Score: 0)
posted Tuesday, November 16, 2010 - 11:07 AM (#57500)

Well, he could always back pedal a bit and say the reason it turned him on was that she was obviously so into the moment that she let one "slip". That would be a great compliment.


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Archwright
Lover

Posts: 19

Registered:
Oct 2010
Re: POLL: The winds of change (Score: 0)
posted Tuesday, November 16, 2010 - 02:43 PM (#57501)

It's no fun having a kink unfulfilled. Talk to her about her kinks, find out if there is anything that she likes that she may have felt awkward bringing up with other lovers. It doesn't even have to be something as odd as S&M or anything like that. Maybe she likes elbow rubs. You two are married now, there's no need for all of these barriers.

That said, it took the better part of a year to warm my spouse up to my kinks, and almost three for him to warm me up to his.

On the other hand, anything that is associated with an orgasm can become a turn-on. So, if she cut the cheese and you blew your load, that connection will be there until your brain weeds it out due to lack of reinforcement.


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