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POLL RESULTS: Sexy Seniors: (9 comments)

POLL: Sexy Seniors

Friday, February 18, 2011 - 12:00 AM

A reader writes... Q.: My husband and I are in our mid-60s, married 39 years. Here is the problem: My husband constantly thinks of sex. We currently have it once a week, but he wishes to have more. He talks about it every day. I don’t know if he does this to prove he can still do it at his age or what. But it is getting on my nerves. He talks about me wearing sexy nightgowns when he comes home from work, etc. At age 64, I think that’s really overdoing it. Please give me your advice.
POLL: What should she do?
 
67% (1174) Loosen up. Your husband thinks you're hot. What are you complaining about?!
 
0% (12) Get hubby to cool his jets and act his age.
 
31% (552) Compromise. Lacy lingerie today; shawls and support hose tomorrow.
1738 people have voted in this poll. (This poll is not active.)
NunyaBidness
Lover

Posts: 83

Registered:
Apr 2008
Re: Sexy Seniors (Score: 0)
posted Friday, February 18, 2011 - 07:42 AM (#58347)

What does your age have to do with it? You may as well argue that you're too old to be reading an online superhero comic.

It means he's fit, healthy and interested in you. Would you prefer the alternatives?

Obviously, the two of you need to compromise somewhere, but it sounds like you're grudging and have decided you've had enough sex in life. He's still very much into a romantic relationship, which is a healthy part of a marriage. Perhaps a counselor or doctor can help you both find a middle ground?


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tonyblum
Lover

Posts: 1

Registered:
Feb 2010
Re: Sexy Seniors (Score: 0)
posted Friday, February 18, 2011 - 10:10 AM (#58348)

Once a week is not enough, even if you're 65. All guys think about sex all the time. I recently dumped a girlfriend of ten years, because she thought every other day was too often now that we are 50 and almost 50. Every other day was already a compromise for us for the last five years. When she became unenthusiastic and told me she wanted to go to once or twice a week i broke it off.


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skippy
Lover

Posts: 1

Registered:
Feb 2011
Re: Sexy Seniors (Score: 0)
posted Friday, February 18, 2011 - 06:05 PM (#58352)

The advice from the first comment is good. Talk to him about it, and see a counselor if necessary (and I would recommend it.)

I would stress that this is an issue you should not ignore. People in long term relationships may stop meeting their partners' needs (or perceived needs)in some areas (like watching sports or arguing politics or whatever), or one of them may develop new needs/interests. If the need is stong enough, the partner not getting his or her needs met may look elsewhere to get them met.

This happens a lot, and is not really necessarily a problem. BUT when the need in question involves sex or romance or both, as yours does, most people would get very unhappy if their partner began to look elsewhere.

BTW, if you start having sex with your husband 3 or 4 times a week (and I'm not saying you should or shouldn't), he may discover he's not as constantly interested in it as he thinks he is.


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lwj2
Lover

Posts: 33

Registered:
Feb 2008
Re: Sexy Seniors (Score: 0)
posted Tuesday, February 22, 2011 - 06:37 AM (#58367)

Ma'am, with all due respect, one of the most attractive women I've ever met is now about seventy.

She's still incredibly attractive.

I'd say you need to do a bit of self-evaluation. Your husband thinks you're attractive and sexy at your mid-sixties.

You have a self-image problem, ma'am.


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CaptainSmokeblower
Lover

Posts: 58

Registered:
Nov 2009
Re: Sexy Seniors (Score: 0)
posted Thursday, February 24, 2011 - 08:52 AM (#58392)

Sex has many purposes, reproduction, pleasure, and relationship construction/maintenance to name three. We men never lose those first two drives (even after a vasectomy), but in women the ability to reproduce stops (Thank you, Lord.) and pleasure may be more difficult to come by due to reduced vaginal lubrication. So your husband is acting his age, and you're acting yours, but you two are different.
Now the two of you get to work out the sex for relationship maintenance. Perhaps he wants more sex to be reassured you still want to be with him. (While that's his problem, you will be part of the solution.)


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LokisGirl
Lover

Posts: 6

Registered:
Feb 2011
Re: Sexy Seniors (Score: 0)
posted Thursday, February 24, 2011 - 09:17 AM (#58393)

Come on, guys. People are allowed to feel what they want to feel. I agree that there is a problem here, and that she should talk to her husband. But there isn't anything *wrong* with her for being less interested in sex than he is. People have different sex drives. Also, as somebody pointed out, women at that age can no longer reproduce, which means that they are less likely to be interested in sex than men are (because biology can be really annoying sometimes). I think the solution here is to realize that both people are within their rights to have the feelings they have, and now they've got a bit of a problem, so they need to talk about it and find a compromise.


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Archwright
Lover

Posts: 19

Registered:
Oct 2010
Re: Sexy Seniors (Score: 0)
posted Thursday, February 24, 2011 - 10:59 AM (#58396)

Modern day couples are having sex into their 80s.

I see no reason for you to have to dress up sexily unless you want to. (Or you've agreed to indulge that kink.)

I recommend working it out. Find what he wants. Does he actually have a 'thing' for lingerie, or is it some macho thing? Then, and most importantly, find out what you want. Explore options for making sex more appealing to you. If you don't know what your turn-ons are, do some reading. If you're home alone, maybe look up some erotic stories or art something. Explain to him that you doing that in order to help you meet his sexual needs in a way that you feel fulfilling.

Remember, you may very well have 20 years or more of sex in your lives.


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LonesomeLoser
Lover

Posts: 25

Registered:
Mar 2011
Re: Sexy Seniors (Score: 0)
posted Wednesday, March 02, 2011 - 02:27 PM (#58462)
In Response to Archwright (#58396):

Archwright is correct. Life goes on and sex is a part of life.
Act his age? What? That is downright offensive to say.
To quote Andy Dufresne, 'get busy living or get busy dying'


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LokisGirl
Lover

Posts: 6

Registered:
Feb 2011
Re: Sexy Seniors (Score: 0)
posted Monday, March 07, 2011 - 07:25 AM (#58482)
In Response to LonesomeLoser (#58462):

That just isn't entirely true. Sex is used by nature as a means for reproduction. This doesn't say it shouldn't be used for anything else, but it *does* say that there is a difference between the interest in sex of a person who *can* still reproduce (a sixty-year-old man) and someone who *can't* (a sixty-year-old woman). It's not as simple as just saying that sex is a part of life. Right now the two partners have differing needs on the sex front, and *both* of those needs need to be taken into consideration.


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Discussion: POLL: Sexy Seniors | Login/Create an Account | 9 comments
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