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Original Comment:

POLL: The long-distance boyfriend vs the close friend

Wednesday, March 02, 2011 - 12:00 AM

A reader writes... Q: I am a college student. During the course of my current class, I have grown very close to a girl. All my friends have suggested I pursue her, but it has not happened because she has a long-distance boyfriend.

The other night, after far too many hours of studying, the barriers sort of broke down and we ended up in bed. Over the course of a sleepless night, we did essentially everything except the sex. Finally, in the early morning, she broke down and felt guilty about it.

After a fair amount of consoling, I told her that it didn't have to be anything, and that we could continue on as we had. She has since told her boyfriend, and they are still together.

The problem is that it was the best night that has ever happened to me. I felt we had amazing compatibility, and it felt more right than anything I have ever done. After talking with her, she confessed it was the same for her. In spite of this, she will only say that her life is confusing right now, owing to the fact that she finds me attractive and wants to be with me, but has a long-standing relationship.

What should I do? I think it is only a matter of time before something happens again, and I really care for this girl (despite the fact that I was the catalyst for her infidelity). My gut reaction is to sit back and let her make the choices she wants, and see how it pertains to me.
POLL: What should he do?
31% (196) You're young. There are many more great nights like that ahead -- and many more people with whom you can have them. She's not available. Move on.
30% (189) These long-distance romances never last. He's there. You're here. Once she figured that out, you're in.
34% (217) Play the field, but keep the lines of communication open with this girl, just in case.
4% (27) Confront the girl and tell her she has to choose between the other guy and you.
629 people have voted in this poll. (This poll is not active.)

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