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POLL RESULTS: Fear of Intimacy: (4 comments)

POLL: Fear of Intimacy

Wednesday, May 04, 2011 - 12:00 AM

A reader writes... Q.: I've known this girl for a number of years and I'm interested in dating her but I have a mild fear of intimacy and am afraid of taking the step from friend to dating. how can I fix this?
POLL: How can he get over his fear?
 
20% (150) You need to see a licensed therapist.
 
65% (473) Aw, just ask her out. You'll get the hang of it.
 
13% (98) Don't waste this poor girl's time. Dating is ALL ABOUT intimacy. If you can't handle it, stay home.
721 people have voted in this poll. (This poll is not active.)
Murgatroyd
Lover

Posts: 300

Registered:
Jan 2008
Re: Fear of Intimacy (Score: 0)
posted Wednesday, May 04, 2011 - 05:16 AM (#59053)

Well, consider: If you don't ever overcome your fear of intimacy, then eventually you'll die, friendless and alone.

When you look at it from that viewpoint, is taking a risk on intimacy really such a terrifying thing?


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vorlonagent
Lover

Posts: 55

Registered:
Oct 2009
Re: Fear of Intimacy (Score: 1)
posted Wednesday, May 04, 2011 - 02:26 PM (#59058)

You aren't alone. This happens to everybody who is actually interested in a genuine relationship.

Dive in and see how it goes. THEN if you have issues or can't pull up the courage, see a therapist.


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zmortis
Lover

Posts: 76

Registered:
Jun 2009
Re: Fear of Intimacy (Score: 0)
posted Wednesday, May 04, 2011 - 06:35 PM (#59059)

Yay, I'm in the minority once again! I voted with the don't get started dating if you just aren't ready for it. Dating should be something you want to do, not something you dread. If you can't simply get out there and ask some girls out on social dates leading up to intimacy, then forcing yourself is only going to make you and her uncomfortable. This level of discomfort will make the situaiton not work out, and then you will both end up failing at a relationship.

My best advice, stay out of the dating pool until it seems like the only place you want to be. Then you will know you are ready to go. That is unless you are cool with getting shot down and losing your chance with this girl.

My opinion of therapy is that it is for the indulgent and rich unless you have an actual psycological condition which needs treatment. If all you are looking for is comfort and confirmation of your self worth, then you can find that at any strip club for the right price.


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pirogoeth
Lover

Posts: 1

Registered:
May 2011
Re: Fear of Intimacy (Score: 0)
posted Friday, May 06, 2011 - 11:26 AM (#59081)

Assuming your mild fear is because you've never had an intimate relationship. You should definitely dig up the courage and go for it. Once you get past the first two minutes of dread, relationships are kinda fun. :)


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Discussion: POLL: Fear of Intimacy | Login/Create an Account | 4 comments
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