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POLL RESULTS: Dad end: (7 comments)

POLL: Dad end

Friday, May 20, 2011 - 12:00 AM

FREE Bree DVD + 50% Off A reader writes... Q: I've heard horror stories about how sex in marriage dies. I've been married for 4 years (2 year old son) and we both work full time. I am lucky to have intercourse once a month. How are we going to get pregnant if we cant get together more often. Is this common in a marriage or is there something wrong with us?
POLL: What should this dad do?
 
15% (213) Get a babysitter. Maybe SHE wants to have sex.
 
57% (779) Seriously. Babysitter. Then makes the moves on the wife.
 
18% (251) Hang in there. It gets better. Be patient.
 
4% (62) Demand sex from your wife on a more frequent basis. That oughta do it.
 
3% (42) Find a little something on the side. Just to tide you over.
1347 people have voted in this poll. (This poll is not active.)
JohnSmallBerries
Lover

Posts: 8

Registered:
Jan 2008
Re: POLL: Dad end (Score: 0)
posted Friday, May 20, 2011 - 01:04 AM (#59202)

You don't mention why you "can't get together more often". Do you work incompatible shifts? Are one or both of you rarely in the mood? Is the child that demanding on your time (and if so, where on earth would you find the time to take care of a second kid)?

I only have my own marriage to compare against, but once a month doesn't seem normal to me. I've been married ten years, and while admittedly we don't have sex quite as often as we did when we were newlyweds, it's usually a minimum of three times a week, often more.

You might want to consider seeing a sex therapist to figure out what's really going on there.


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DavidArgall
Lover

Posts: 42

Registered:
Nov 2010
Re: POLL: Dad end (Score: 0)
posted Friday, May 20, 2011 - 02:31 AM (#59203)
In Response to JohnSmallBerries (#59202):

How do WE get pregnant? A conference with the other party may be in order here. You may not be getting sex because she thinks one is enough. However, if she is on board with expanding the family, a little planning should make success likely without increasing the amount of sex. [Of course, that may not be the solution you prefer, but it would answer the question asked.]


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bucketsgirl
Lover

Posts: 10

Registered:
Mar 2011
Re: POLL: Dad end (Score: 0)
posted Friday, May 20, 2011 - 03:02 AM (#59204)

You both work full time, plus you have a two year old. In most relationships, whether or not both parents work, the wife *usually* (yes, I know not always, but more frequently) assumes the bulk of childcare/household responsibilities. So the odds are she basically has TWO full time jobs. I wouldn't blame her for not having the energy for sex! Of course, as I said early, this isn't always the case - there might be other issues going on.

Either way, you should try talking to your wife! Not accusatory "we never have sex, I want more". But an honest talk about how you wish you two could be connecting more on a sexual level, and see what she thinks. She would be able to give you the best insights on this. If it's not something the two of you can talk about openly, you probably have other issues and should see a marriage counselor of some sort to help get to the bottom of the problem(s).


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Fireeater
Lover

Posts: 3

Registered:
Apr 2011
Re: POLL: Dad end (Score: 0)
posted Friday, May 20, 2011 - 02:43 PM (#59206)

The first thing you need to do is stop wondering if you are "normal." There is a huge range of normal frequency when it comes to sex. Never should you try to have sex just because you are worried about being weird.

However, I'm guessing you don't like the situation and would prefer sex more often. You need to tell your partner that.

Then you are going to have to work to make the time and the right circumstances. Sex at the end of the day when you're both exhausted? Ugh. Sex after a relaxing massage? Mmm.

Talk to each other about your desires and make sure you LISTEN. Be open minded. Then find a level of sex frequency you both are comfortable with, no matter what "normal" might be.


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LonesomeLoser
Lover

Posts: 25

Registered:
Mar 2011
Re: POLL: Dad end (Score: 0)
posted Tuesday, May 24, 2011 - 08:16 AM (#59213)

You are a man. You have no rights in a marriage and your feelings and desires mean nothing.
Suck it up.


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NunyaBidness
Lover

Posts: 83

Registered:
Apr 2008
Re: POLL: Dad end (Score: 0)
posted Wednesday, May 25, 2011 - 08:20 PM (#59221)
In Response to LonesomeLoser (#59213):

Lonesome Loser is a lonesome loser, and needs a hug.


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LonesomeLoser
Lover

Posts: 25

Registered:
Mar 2011
Re: POLL: Dad end (Score: 0)
posted Friday, June 03, 2011 - 11:18 AM (#59306)
In Response to NunyaBidness (#59221):

If you think this hurts me, think again

I have a motto, No Illusions.

Never lie to myself, never pretend

Yes, I am a loser. I have enough life experiences to prove that. But it also means I never don rose coloured glasses, nor imagine that things are other than what they really are.


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Discussion: POLL: Dad end | Login/Create an Account | 7 comments
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