POLL: Dad end

You don't mention why you "can't get together more often". Do you work incompatible shifts? Are one or both of you rarely in the mood? Is the child that demanding on your time (and if so, where on earth would you find the time to take care of a second kid)?

I only have my own marriage to compare against, but once a month doesn't seem normal to me. I've been married ten years, and while admittedly we don't have sex quite as often as we did when we were newlyweds, it's usually a minimum of three times a week, often more.

You might want to consider seeing a sex therapist to figure out what's really going on there.

How do WE get pregnant? A conference with the other party may be in order here. You may not be getting sex because she thinks one is enough. However, if she is on board with expanding the family, a little planning should make success likely without increasing the amount of sex. [Of course, that may not be the solution you prefer, but it would answer the question asked.]

You both work full time, plus you have a two year old. In most relationships, whether or not both parents work, the wife *usually* (yes, I know not always, but more frequently) assumes the bulk of childcare/household responsibilities. So the odds are she basically has TWO full time jobs. I wouldn't blame her for not having the energy for sex! Of course, as I said early, this isn't always the case - there might be other issues going on.

Either way, you should try talking to your wife! Not accusatory "we never have sex, I want more". But an honest talk about how you wish you two could be connecting more on a sexual level, and see what she thinks. She would be able to give you the best insights on this. If it's not something the two of you can talk about openly, you probably have other issues and should see a marriage counselor of some sort to help get to the bottom of the problem(s).

The first thing you need to do is stop wondering if you are "normal." There is a huge range of normal frequency when it comes to sex. Never should you try to have sex just because you are worried about being weird.

However, I'm guessing you don't like the situation and would prefer sex more often. You need to tell your partner that.

Then you are going to have to work to make the time and the right circumstances. Sex at the end of the day when you're both exhausted? Ugh. Sex after a relaxing massage? Mmm.

Talk to each other about your desires and make sure you LISTEN. Be open minded. Then find a level of sex frequency you both are comfortable with, no matter what "normal" might be.

You are a man. You have no rights in a marriage and your feelings and desires mean nothing.
Suck it up.

Lonesome Loser is a lonesome loser, and needs a hug.

If you think this hurts me, think again

I have a motto, No Illusions.

Never lie to myself, never pretend

Yes, I am a loser. I have enough life experiences to prove that. But it also means I never don rose coloured glasses, nor imagine that things are other than what they really are.