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POLL RESULTS: Going viral: (4 comments)

POLL: Going viral

Friday, July 15, 2011 - 12:00 AM

A reader writes... Q: At what point in a relationship do you tell a woman that you have herpes? I need to know because the last time, I didn’t do it until we were actually in bed and naked and making out. She was very upset, but I was scared to bring it up sooner, because I didn’t want to scare her off.
POLL: When's the best time to tell someone you have herpes?
9% (185) First date
83% (1586) When things start to look serious
4% (89) Just before the first time you have sex
2% (44) Somewhere between "Was it good for you" and "I have an early meeting tomorrow."
0% (6) Never
1910 people have voted in this poll. (This poll is not active.)

Posts: 76

Jun 2009
Re: POLL: Going viral (Score: 0)
posted Friday, July 15, 2011 - 05:27 PM (#59629)

I'll be in the group that says first date. You'd may as well get it out on the table right off the bat. You'll earn bonus points for honesty which may pay off later, and know whether this is going to be deal breaker right at the start before you waste a lot of time and effort building a relationship.

Certainly this will cause you to not make it to a lot of second dates, but you'll eventually come across that woman who says, "Hey me too. I'm so relieved we can get that issue out of the way."

Also welcome to paying the price for incautious promiscuity. I hope you've learned a lesson, because herpes is going to last your entire life.

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Posts: 2

Jun 2011
Re: POLL: Going viral (Score: 0)
posted Friday, July 15, 2011 - 08:30 PM (#59630)

as a guy who's dating a girl with herpes before (I'm still clean), I can say that I was seriously freaked out by her telling me between the first and second dates but really respected her honesty. I'd say wait till it gets starts looking like it might become serious but tell her/him before you're serious and DEFINITELY don't wait till you're in the sack. I would dump someone for waiting till I was all revved up to tell me.

You have to remember that even though you have it you might be married for life and never transfer it to your partner, but it does carry a certain stigma and it's better to loose them before you get too attached if they're going to split.

and to those who think like zmortis, the girl I dated got it from a commit relationship with a guy who thought he was clean. HPV sometimes doesn't manifest with symptoms even though a person is infected so it's possible for it to spread during committed relationships.

So the take away, any worthwhile person will respect you for being honest early even if they're not willing to be with an infected person, and it's VERY important to not drop it on them when you're getting ready for sex.

Live and learn dude, and I truly hope you find someone who'll stick with you despite your virus.

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Posts: 8

Jun 2011
Re: POLL: Going viral (Score: 0)
posted Tuesday, July 19, 2011 - 05:20 AM (#59640)

Think of it this way:

At what point in the date would you like to be told that the person you are dating is pre-op transgender and there may be a certain role reversal regarding your standard lovemaking procedures?

At a time you an make an informed decision? or seconds before you learn to make a whole new O face?

First date. Maybe second, but totally before anybody steps up to the plate so to speak.

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Posts: 25

Mar 2011
Re: POLL: Going viral (Score: 0)
posted Monday, August 01, 2011 - 07:59 AM (#59712)

Before you spread your "special" present hopefully!

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