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POLL RESULTS: Giving up...: (3 comments)

POLL: Giving up...

Friday, August 05, 2011 - 12:00 AM

>A reader writes... Q: I’m about ready to give up finding the right woman. I’ve tried the dating services, the bar scene, friends of friends etc. I’m 32 and have never been married. The longest relationship I had lasted three years. Some are too high maintenance and others attractive, but not smart and so I can’t commit because I know it won’t work. The ones I really like always end up dumping me for another guy after a year or so. What do I do next?
POLL: What should he do?
8% (113) Try to keep a positive attitude
2% (34) Online dating
3% (42) Join a church/social club
20% (267) Stop looking (that's when you find them)
52% (678) Be comfortable with yourself. Then you'll attract the right one
7% (102) Give up.
4% (54) Other
1290 people have voted in this poll. (This poll is not active.)

Posts: 2

Jan 2011
Re: Giving up... (Score: 0)
posted Friday, August 05, 2011 - 04:58 AM (#59755)

I'm in the same boat. Also 32. My longest relationship was a weekend fling, and that was also my only 'relationship'. Many girls are, like you said, high maintenance and/or lack smarts. And if they are nice, there's rarely chemistry. I'm looking for someone with a strong personality and sense of humour. In South Africa, where I live, many girls are still subservient to guys and I find that a complete turn-off.

I haven't given up hope yet, but I've decided I'd rather be happy alone than unhappy in a relationship I'll regret.

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Posts: 300

Jan 2008
Re: Giving up... (Score: 0)
posted Friday, August 05, 2011 - 05:20 AM (#59756)

The ones I really like always end up dumping me for another guy after a year or so. What do I do next?

I think this is the key. He has been able to find suitable women, he just hasn't been able to keep them.

What should he do? Ask mutual friends (and former lovers, if he's still on speaking terms with them) what went wrong in those relationships. There are as many ways to screw up relationships as there are human beings; only someone who knows him can tell him what he's been doing wrong.

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From: Saint Louis, MO

Posts: 10

Apr 2009
Re: Giving up... (Score: 0)
posted Friday, August 05, 2011 - 10:51 AM (#59759)

I agree with Murgatroyd, and would like to add the following.

You say you had a relationship for 3 years. What kept that going for so long? What made you - or her - end it after that much time? It sounds like you are a normal person who has had normal troubles with finding someone with whom you can settle. If it's concerning you, though, then looking into specific past cases is a good first step.

Me gustas cuando callas porque estás como ausente... --Pablo Neruda
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