Re: Drunken love (Score: 0)
posted Friday, February 03, 2012 - 08:35 PM (#60987
I'm going to go with something that none of the other commenters have covered. You said you had a great relationship before. Assuming he hasn't broken himself in some way (like drinking heavily when he didn't before or some such) there's a not unreasonable chance that if he could only get past his current issues, it could work out again. You might as well try something, then. Couldn't hurt, right? Just waiting for him is a loser's game. He's not committing, you shouldn't either - especially since this is exactly the sort of thing that can drag on forever with no resolution. Mind you, if you're off doing something else and he finally fixes himself and gets in touch with you, then that's cool, but that's not exactly waiting. I'd say do something to push the issue. Options include...
- Tell him that you're not interested in him as anything other than a friend unless he can tell you sober. Potentially, refuse to hang out with him when he's drunk.
- Ask his drunk self what it would take to get his sober self to man up. Do that thing. If it doesn't work, plan A.
- If he's trying to get you to come home with him when he's drunk (which seems likely) let him. Don't do anything you'll feel ashamed about in the morning. Confront him on the issue over breakfast. If you want to be kind about it, make said breakfast.
- Record his (while drunk) confession. Play it back to him when he's sober and see what he says.
Basically the idea here is to put him in a situation where he's forced to give you a solid answer you can hold him to (one way or the other), while adding a push to the "yes" column. Then, if he says no, drop it. If he does say no, and continues to tell you such things when drunk, tell him you don't want to hear it unless you can hear it from him when he's sober.