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POLL RESULTS: She likes porn. That's normal, right?: (11 comments)

POLL: She likes porn. That's normal, right?

Friday, March 09, 2012 - 12:00 AM



Q: My husband and I have very busy lives, work and kids take up a lot of our daily lives. I recently found that if I want sex and I link my husband to a porn site I like I get very good results. My friends who are my age 40 plus complain about not getting enough sex constantly. I told them how I use porn sites to encourage my husband. I get very negative reactions. Is it really abnormal for women to look at porn? Why do people find this so strange?

POLL: What are your views on porn?
 
70% (1578) I'm a man, and I like porn
 
12% (273) I'm a man, and I'm ambivalent towards porn
 
2% (54) I'm a man, and I dislike porn
 
10% (228) I'm a woman, and I like porn
 
3% (82) I'm a woman, and I'm ambivalent towards porn
 
0% (18) I'm a woman, and I dislike porn
2233 people have voted in this poll. (This poll is not active.)
drblzk
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Posts: 2

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Aug 2011
Re: She likes porn. That's normal, right? (Score: 0)
posted Friday, March 09, 2012 - 03:37 AM (#61192)

I use the same technique sometimes to get my girlfriend horny, doesn't work as instant as with men, but definitely gets her going when she's otherwise too tired.
She will also watch herself sometimes, but for some reason doesn't initiate often, even though she knows she likes the result.

I find that about half my friend have embraced that almost everyone likes porn and talk about it openly. The other half still insists they never watch it.

Then again, before I started watching porn with my girlfriend I denied it too. It's somehow becomes more accepted once you do that.


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Garwulf
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Re: She likes porn. That's normal, right? (Score: 0)
posted Friday, March 09, 2012 - 09:43 AM (#61194)

Is it just me, or does the poll not actually answer the question asked?

Anyway, it seems to me that the shock comes not from the original poster using porn with her husband, but instead from talking about using it in the open. Although online, with the anonymity of the internet, it is easy for people to talk frankly about liking or disliking porn, in the real world there is a stigma attached to it.

So, I think the negative reaction is coming not from shock that a woman and her husband are using porn in their sex life, but because the original poster is admitting to doing something considered shameful - or at least private to the point of being unmentionable - in polite company.


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abb3w
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Re: She likes porn. That's normal, right? (Score: 0)
posted Friday, March 09, 2012 - 10:48 AM (#61196)
In Response to Garwulf (#61194):

The poll doesn't directly answer it; instead, it attempts to measure the distribution of attitudes, so that "normal" can be observed. Of course, it's a self-selected poll of readers of the webcomic, which is probably more than a little skew from a formal sampling. (EG: the male/female response ratio in the poll is about 7:1 M:F, while the US population runs about 1:1.)

Such limitations aside, so far among readers, the Male versus Female numbers are similar on the order of sample limits (95% confidence intervals overlap). Women are more likely to go "meh" than guys and less likely to go "yay", but I'd attribute that to too many porn plots being really badly written or outright misogynistic. There are some people who just find porn thoroughly unappealing, but are rare (1 in 20ish for women, rarer among men). There's probably actual sociological studies that have looked at the question, but I'm too lazy to wade through Google Scholar today.

I suspect the negative reaction is more exactly that it's so unmentionable under social norms as to be unthinkable to try it, as opposed to not merely something to talk about ("Shocked I say. Shocked!") in polite society.


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Dracoprimus
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Mar 2012
Re: She likes porn. That's normal, right? (Score: 0)
posted Friday, March 09, 2012 - 12:35 PM (#61197)

It's not typical for women to actively like porn inside a relationship. many women have insecurity issues and feel compared when their partner looks at porn. They start wondering "is he thinking of me? or that girl in the porn?"


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bobb123
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Feb 2012
Re: She likes porn. That's normal, right? (Score: 0)
posted Friday, March 09, 2012 - 12:56 PM (#61198)

I don't believe that it's abnormal for a woman to look at porn. What I find abnormal is that your friends say they don't get enough sex constantly. As a 40 plus male I know that if I could get it every day, I would. All of the guys I know feel the same way. So either these friends are way off the normal curve for wanting sex, or there is just a wee bit of stretchin o' the story, don't ye know?


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rhahael
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Re: She likes porn. That's normal, right? (Score: 0)
posted Friday, March 09, 2012 - 10:17 PM (#61201)

@garwulf The poll does answer. The question is wether it is common or not for women to watch/like porn, nothing else.


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spzeidler
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Jan 2010
lots of "professional" porn is made to be off-putt (Score: 0)
posted Sunday, March 11, 2012 - 09:32 AM (#61203)

Lots of professional targetted-at-men porn uses ugly, off-putting male actors intentionally so the intended audience doesn't feel intimidated and compares themselves favourably to the one getting the action. Thus, "oh, yuck" from me to most porn I have seen (and I definitely don't seek it out). The best I can say is that some was unintentionally (one expects) funny. But definitely not arousing.
Also, obviously the porn filmers wouldn't recognize a horny woman if they were slapped with one, instead opting for spectacularily dumb expressions. Probably getting the male actor into the mood is hard enough, they just skip it for the women actors.

On the other hand, if people want to watch fairy tales for adults, it's no problem to me as long as they have enough connect to reality to know that these -are- fairy tales.


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DanialArin
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Apr 2009
Re: She likes porn. That's normal, right? (Score: 0)
posted Sunday, March 11, 2012 - 11:10 AM (#61204)

There's also a gender stigma. "Porn" is considered crude, and thus, a "guy" thing. Whereas "romance"... Just as female SF&F writers used initials or male pseudonyms in order to be able to be published before, say, 1967 or thereabouts, have any of you seen a romance novel on the drugstore shelf with a male author name? And some of those bodice-rippers can be really explicit. (And a lot of them are surprisingly well-written, with an actual plot and everything, and neither the plot execution nor the erotica suffer overmuch from the other's presence.)

That being said, if the porn studios recruited some romance authors to write their screenplays, rather than whoever's doing it now... Well, you probably wouldn't see more women admitting watching it, but you might see more of them take a more active role in influencing their partners' viewing habits. Well, that and if they could figure out which camera angles best highlight whatever visuals most effectively turn women on, but boobs and genitals make far more obvious targets for male camera crews.

On a semi-related note, it has been brought to my attention a few times by a few of the self-professed lesbian and bisexual women I've met through the SF&F community that they tend to find guy-on-guy porn to their liking. Whereas the gay men I know tend to be mum on the matter. Go figure that one out.


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Fruffenheimer
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Mar 2012
Re: She likes porn. That's normal, right? (Score: 0)
posted Monday, March 12, 2012 - 06:06 AM (#61208)

Just felt I had to correct the poll - there is a fundamental error in the percentages as the alternatives are separated by gender, but the results does not take that into account.

At the time of posting this post, 1757 persons had answered, of which 1512 were male (86%) and 245 were female (14%). When separating the answers into gender, the result would look like this:

Male answers:
83.1% likes porn
14.0% are abivalent towards porn
2.8% dislikes porn

Female answers:
69.8% likes porn
24.9% are abivalent towards porn
5.3% dislikes porn

Based on the poll (and assuming all persons answered truthfully) I'd say that a vast majority of both men and women enjoys porn and it can therefore be considered fully normal that a person of either gender likes it.


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BlueEyes
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Mar 2012
Re: She likes porn. That's normal, right? (Score: 0)
posted Tuesday, March 13, 2012 - 09:22 AM (#61212)
In Response to Dracoprimus (#61197):

To Dracoprimus: I know more women, who are in relationships, that watch porn than do not. There have been many discussions on the topic in fact. (Though my companions and I tend to be a very open-minded group) I've also never been "intimidated" or bothered by my husband watching porn. Likewise, he is not bothered by my own viewing. We just don't watch porn together because that tends to become a laugh-fest versus intimate time.


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TheBigJerk
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Mar 2011
Re: She likes porn. That's normal, right? (Score: 0)
posted Tuesday, March 13, 2012 - 11:15 PM (#61213)

Yep. lotta people hate porn for dumb reasons. Especially if you were discovering sex when the hippies were becoming yuppies and the "Moral Majority" was waxing. Also like some others mentioned there's this thing where some women feel threatened if a man shows sexual arousal at other women. It's inherently a trust and territoriality issue, since at the "Grunting savage" level females pursue mates by stimulating desire, and failure to do so implies a loss of that attraction bond.

Put more simply, the lady's subconscious says, "my man will stray if I don't keep him interested only in me." Which is not very nice or trusting of one's mate, but still a legitimate fear.


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