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POLL RESULTS: Gay for pay?: (9 comments)

POLL: Gay for pay?

Friday, May 18, 2012 - 12:00 AM



Q.: OK so I work at Hooters and the other day I kinda sorta made out with a coworker to get more tips. The thing is, I kinda liked it. I have pretty much been guys only forever, but I do enjoy her company -- and she was a REALLY good kisser. Do you think I should go for it?

POLL: Should she pursue her really-good-kissing Hooters co-worker?
 
17% (326) Pics or it didn't happen.
 
15% (286) No. Seriously. Photographic proof is absolutely necessary to answer this question.
 
3% (70) Don't be ridiculous. Photos can be doctored. This calls for Skype video-chat. When are you available?
 
10% (189) Actually... when are *both* of you available?
 
4% (86) Waitaminute... those could be models. When can you be here?
 
47% (859) Screw it. I'll come to you.
1816 people have voted in this poll. (This poll is not active.)
abb3w
Lover

Posts: 46

Registered:
Jan 2008
Re: Gay for pay? (Score: 0)
posted Friday, May 18, 2012 - 12:38 AM (#61626)

CD tends better that 2:1 male on the poll responses, so the advice may be dubious.

Do try to avoid your experimental procedure ending up breaking any hearts. Same-sex exploration is legendarily unlikely to produce crotch-fruit, but is not immune to the hazard of STDs.

And of course feel free to consider posting your zip-code to boost local tip rates....


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kradeiz
Lover

Posts: 2

Registered:
May 2012
Re: Gay for pay? (Score: 0)
posted Friday, May 18, 2012 - 12:44 AM (#61627)

All joking aside, if you like this girl and feel attracted to her, AND you think she might be to you, I say go for it. Although if a same-sex relationship is new to both of you, I'd advise going pretty slow at the start. Hope it works out!


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tweell
Lover

Posts: 8

Registered:
Mar 2012
Re: Gay for pay? (Score: 0)
posted Friday, May 18, 2012 - 12:47 AM (#61628)

I'd keep it 'professional' for now. Ask her what she thought about the show you guys put on, but play it cool. You are dealing with a bunch of potentially catty co-workers, would one of them like to burn you?

 In any case, don't be put in a role you're not sure about.


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Sanityfaerie
Lover

Posts: 17

Registered:
Jan 2011
Re: Gay for pay? (Score: 0)
posted Friday, May 18, 2012 - 02:00 AM (#61629)
In Response to tweell (#61628):

First, understanding your own sexuality is in general A Good Thing. If you're Bi, you want to know you're Bi. With respect to this particular woman - workplace romance can get ugly, especially if you hit the breakup phase - and given that it would be your first homosexual relationship, there are all *sorts* of potential pitfalls that might see it ending ugly. Hitting on someone at your workplace who doesn't return your affections can also get ugly.

So... First, you might be Bi. This is good to know, and you should investigate further, and find out for sure. Whether or not you should investigate further with this girl depends on the answers to a couple of pertinent questions.

- How important is this job to you? If everything ends in tears and despair and you simply can't bear to keep working at the place (or get fired) how much will it suck to have to go out and find another job? Assume that everything hit worst-case scenario, and you can't get a recommendation from the current place.

- How important is it to you that it be this particular woman? If you could find some other moderately attractive woman who also kissed well, would that be just as good? If so, that may well be the safer option, for reasons that have nothing to do with the homosexuality angle and everything to do with the workplace angle.

If you do decide that you want to at least mildly pursue the woman, I'd suggest you do so low-impact. Smile, tell her that you rather enjoyed the makeout session, that she was a surprisingly good kisser, and that you wouldn't mind doing it again some time. Then stop, and let her make the next move. If she's interested in that way, you've given her a clear indication of interest that she can work with. If she's not, you haven't put her on the spot or made her say no to anything - all you've done is complement her and express appreciation. Sure, she'll almost certainly suspect that you're into her, but she won't have to admit it, and if you keep it low-key enough, she should find your interest more flattering than anything else. Of course, this all goes out the window if she's toxic/evil/psycho - you wouldn't want to give her the leverage, then, and should just stay as far away as you possibly can.


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Murgatroyd
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Posts: 300

Registered:
Jan 2008
Re: Gay for pay? (Score: 0)
posted Friday, May 18, 2012 - 06:11 AM (#61631)

There's an old saying: "Don't schtup on the kitchen table." Lots of people become attracted to co-workers, and many of them do something about it. Trouble is, these affairs usually end, sometimes badly, and yet the two people still have to work together. How would you feel if you had to work every day with an ex-boyfriend whom you now couldn't stand?


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eoraptor
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Posts: 37

Registered:
Apr 2011
Re: Gay for pay? (Score: 0)
posted Friday, May 18, 2012 - 12:14 PM (#61633)

Humor by the wayside... There's two schools of thought on relations at work:

"Don't sh*t where you eat" meaning that office romances will always end in tears and cause nothing but more drama than you can stand

and "Well, we work together, we must share at least something in common"

Now, normally I fall into the latter school of thought myself... But honestly, the only prerequisite for working at h**ters is a nice anatomy and the ability to carry food form one spot to another with a smile on your face, so it's not exactly something you want to base a relationship on.

I'd say that you need to explore your sexuality yes, as it is a primary step to a healthy self. However, don't do it in a way which is going to cause all manner of drama and strife in a rather menial job like waitressing. Go to a bar, hit up an GLBT community website for singles and learn more about it, etc...

THEN, if you think maybe you're bisexual, at a time in the future, you can come back to the h**ters hottie and see if she might be interested in dinner and a movie, all done strictly OFF THE CLOCK.


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DanialArin
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Posts: 92

Registered:
Apr 2009
Re: Gay for pay? (Score: 0)
posted Saturday, May 19, 2012 - 03:16 AM (#61637)

Seriously, read Gisèle Lagacé and Dave Lumsdon's Menage à 3 [menagea3.net] from the beginning. The potential disasters that can come from not only similar scenarios but this exact one as well are quite effectively, if comically, illustrated. Note before you do though that it's a couple of rungs higher than CD on the NSFW ladder.

That said, that's not to say this doesn't indicate a possibility of swinging both ways. But it's a big leap to go from enjoying the work of a really good kisser who happens to be the same gender you are (and who may very well have been thinking of Brad Pitt or George Clooney while she was kissing you), and actually having a desire to connect to both sets of plumbing.


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mojo2000
Lover

Posts: 2

Registered:
Apr 2011
Re: Gay for pay? (Score: 0)
posted Monday, May 21, 2012 - 05:40 AM (#61639)
In Response to DanialArin (#61637):

(DanialArin: Thank you thank you thank you for the link to Ménage à 3. Funny, sexy, bold, liberating.)


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DrScott
Lover

Posts: 5

Registered:
Sep 2011
Re: Gay for pay? (Score: 0)
posted Sunday, May 27, 2012 - 07:12 AM (#61665)
In Response to eoraptor (#61633):

Oh, I dunno eoraptor, plenty of people base relationships on "nice anatomy."

That may not be the most solid foundation for a long term relationship, but you can't deny it happens!

And aside from my semi snarky response, I don't have much to add - lot's of good advice here already.


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