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POLL RESULTS: On break?: (5 comments)

POLL: On break?

Friday, December 07, 2012 - 12:00 AM

A reader writes...

Q. After my girlfriend and I broke up about 3 days ago, a girl I've known since sophomore year in high school gave me a BJ to get me to stop being gloomy. Now my ex wants to get back together. What should I do?
POLL: What should he do?
 
36% (390) Marry the high-school friend, and work on developing clinical depression.
 
13% (138) Go back to your ex, and never mention this again.
 
12% (132) Go back to your ex, but make a full confession first.
 
13% (141) Threesome!
 
24% (254) Don't date the ex or the friend. Play the field.
1055 people have voted in this poll. (This poll is not active.)
FuzzyWulfe
Lover

Posts: 2

Registered:
Dec 2012
Re: On break? (Score: 0)
posted Friday, December 07, 2012 - 12:58 AM (#62560)

I don't like any of these choices; there are some missing details that would be really helpful. It sounds like your girlfriend broke up with you if you were in a funk. Regardless, there's nothing to confess about since you weren't in a relationship to cheat on. We don't know why the ex wants to get back together or what the high school friend thinks. Maybe it was nothing special for her, or she may want to pursue a relationship. I guess if I gave any advice it would be to non-exclusively date your ex if you really want to get back with her; you just have to remember that there was a reason the relationship ended. Maybe talk to the high school friend to get a better understanding of what's going on there.


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CaptainSmokeblower
Lover

Posts: 58

Registered:
Nov 2009
Re: On break? (Score: 0)
posted Friday, December 07, 2012 - 09:08 AM (#62561)

Fuzzy doesn't like the choices, but these are (with better word choices) your only options, date neither, date one, date the other, or date both. Dating both will probably lead to dating neither so I don't recommend it.
As for dating your ex-girlfriend, she'd dumped you once, so you need to determine if she's just wants you when she doesn't have you or what. Yeah, dumping you might have been an honest mistake, but I'd wan't someone who doesn't make such bad mistakes -- you don't know, but dating you might have been a worse mistake.
As for the HS friend who provided the cheer-me-upper, again, you need to ask some questions about why she tooted your horn. You'd be wrong to assume the wants a relationship without her telling you straight out. Heck, it might have just been a PBJ (Pity BJ).


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Sanityfaerie
Lover

Posts: 17

Registered:
Jan 2011
Re: On break? (Score: 0)
posted Saturday, December 08, 2012 - 10:51 PM (#62566)

So, there are basically three different questions here, and breaking them down may make things simpler for you. Is going back to your ex a good idea? Is hooking up with this other girl a good idea? If both are independently good ideas, which is the better idea? (I can already tell yout hat trying to play both at once is a bad idea).

For your (really quite recent) ex: You know what it's like being in a relationship with her, but it can be helpful to get it out on paper. Sit down, write out the good things about the relationship and the bad things. When you're thinking about the good things, bear in midn what got you together in the first place. When you're thinking about the bad things, bear in mind what broke you up in the first place - and while you're at it, try to figure out what's going on in her head with the breaking up with you and then wanting to get back together again three days later, because I guarantee that belongs on those lists somewhere. My suspicion is that three days hasn't fixed whatever it was that broke you up in the first place, and you don't want to go through the rollercoaster of getting smacked with it again and again, but you haven't provided a whole lot of details.

For the girl that you've known since high school... well, as a previous poster noted, it might be a really good idea to find out where her head is. The idea of a pity BJ is pretty weird to me, but I suppose there are some places where that could happen. There's also the chance that she's been really into you for a long period of time, never admitted it, and swooped in when your ex dropped you. (If you are still *in* high school, there's a nontrivial chance that the ex would be perfectly happy with you being single and unhappy but doesn't like the idea of you hooking up with anyone else (particularly not while she's still single). Again, you've not provided a whole lot of information.)

If you've taken a long look at what each of these girls has to offer as a girlfriend, and you still actually like the idea of being involved with each of them, and the girl you knew from high school really is interested in you in that way... well, it depends which one you like more. Personally, I'd suggest the girl you knew since sophomore year - That whole "break up and then try to get back together three days later" thing sounds a bit too drama-prone for my money, particularly if she was the one breaking up with you, and there's obviously *something* wrong with that relationship, or you never would have broken up in the first place. On the other hand, I guess some guys like the drama. It really is up to you.


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DavidArgall
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Posts: 42

Registered:
Nov 2010
Re: On break? (Score: 0)
posted Tuesday, December 11, 2012 - 02:43 AM (#62570)

There are unstated facts that could make any of the choices bad or good. I would speculate that...
The breakup was over something that should be forgotten about [except to not be so determined to be right next time.]
The BJ was, as suggested, just pity sex and forgetable.
So go back to the ex sand forget it. Don't make a deep secret of it, but but what she donesn't won't hurt you. [And be casual about it when/if she finds out.]


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Murgatroyd
Lover

Posts: 300

Registered:
Jan 2008
Re: On break? (Score: 0)
posted Tuesday, December 11, 2012 - 03:39 AM (#62572)
In Response to DavidArgall (#62570):

I would speculate that...
The breakup was over something that should be forgotten about [except to not be so determined to be right next time.]

On the other hand, it might be that his girlfriend broke up with him because she was attracted to someone else, and she wants to get back together because she was shot down or she decided the other guy wasn't so great after all. If that's the case, she's liable to do it again.

Are you out there, Original Poster? We need more information!


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