welcome! please login or register.




Original Comment:


Posts: 46

Jan 2008
Re: One-nighter (Score: 0)
posted Friday, January 18, 2013 - 01:18 AM (#62681)
Hard to say. But if everyone ends up knowing who he sleeps with, the logical thing to do would seem to be asking (as deferentially as you can, as it may be a touchy subject) the opinion of all those former one-night stands; whether they think it was worth it, and why. If it's only that they didn't believe or know beforehand what they were getting into, that's one thing; if they've other reasons, like his being incompetent in bed, that's another.

Also bear in mind, you're accepting the reputation, and the corresponding likelihood of other less hot would-be-swains wanting such an opportunity. It's going to complicate sorting through to find multi-night partners, with more mostly interested in more transient opportunities. "You're hot enough for a long-term prospect, not just a one night stand."

You should be seriously hesitant if you've not had a one-night stand before, or had serious regrets from one in the past. Some people can do sex without emotional complications, but a lot of people can't. Still, college is a good time for experimenting and finding out that sort of thing about yourself. You probably should try to line up a good enough friend to console you (without sex) who won't be tempted to say "I told you so", in the event of dire regrets. The certainty of it getting out to everyone afterward does make it easier, in some ways. Everyone will know, so you may as well ask your friends what they think beforehand to rule out the "I told you so" folk; and if you can't find someone beforehand who's at least neutral on the idea... well, that says something, doesn't it?

You might also ask him how many orgasms he's willing to sign a contract promising you. You don't have to literally get a contract, but not being willing to commit himself to even one should be an absolute dealbreaker.

If you do decide to go for it:
  • Make sure the "night" is one with no other time commitments or distractions, to get as much from the one opportunity as possible. The potential for truthfully complaining he didn't last long enough will be a bonus, if you have any buyer's remorse.
  • Don't try for a repeat. You know the deal going in.
  • Don't let HIM try for a repeat. "One night stand" and "booty call privileges" are two different things, and negotiated very differently. If he's interested in the latter, make it clear that's going to need re-negotiation.
  • Don't ever complain afterward that you weren't warned, if you were warned but just didn't believe.
  • Do decide what you're going to let his future prospects know about your satisfaction and dissatisfaction with the experience. Reputations should be a sauce for the gander as well as the goose.
  • Make damn sure to use barrier methods -- condoms and dental dams. Someone with a habit of one-night stands tends to have seriously higher odds of carrying something.

Locked profile

This discussion has been locked. Feel free to start a new one to share your wisdom with us.


(C) 2005 Brad J. Guigar. All rights reserved. Use of content or images without the consent of the author is prohibited.