I think it's possible to be anti-violence and pro-death penalty without contradiction, they're separate issues, but can be compatible, for example: Death penalty for perpetrators of extreme violence. Effectively removing some violence from the world? I'm not saying I think like that, I'm just saying, there is a sort of logic to it.
Pro-death-penalty isn't necessarily a worrisome conflict with anti-violence, unless the suggested 'death' is violent and/or personally enacted. And even then, the reaction may be coloured by other factors.
I really don't know what to say about the whole sexual side of things, but you might want to look at http://www.asexuality.org/home/relationship.html [asexuality.org] - particularly the question 'I think my partner might be asexual. What should I do?' - the related pages may also be of interest.
As an asexual, though, I'd like to think outsourcing sex could be a viable relationship option. As long as all parties were honest from the very beginning - before the sex - and aware enough of their feelings to stop if things got a bit too emotional between the sexual and their sex partner.