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POLL RESULTS: Adding up: (2 comments)

POLL: Adding up

Friday, April 26, 2013 - 12:00 AM

A reader writes...

So here's the deal: I am a college freshman, and for some freak reason I ended up sleeping with my math tutor. She is in her 40s and very attractive for her age. I'm not sure I really want to talk to her ever again, but at the same time I still need the help in math. What do I do?
POLL: What should he do?
31% (473) This woman can teach you a lot more than math. See her again. And take notes.
20% (302) This is an inappropriate relationship. Find a less "hands-on" instructor.
8% (131) See her again, but set the ground rules. No more funny business.
28% (419) I doubt she's looking for much of a relationship here. Relax.
10% (161) You didn't sleep with her for a "freakish" reason. You're into cougars. Cool.
1486 people have voted in this poll. (This poll is not active.)

Posts: 4

Jan 2008
Re: POLL: Adding up (Score: 0)
posted Friday, April 26, 2013 - 08:17 AM (#62962)

If you don't want to date or mate with her .. Find a new tutor!

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Posts: 36

Mar 2010
Re: POLL: Adding up (Score: 0)
posted Friday, April 26, 2013 - 08:51 AM (#62963)

As expected, voting is fairly even across the board. There is no easy answer here, because it depends on you and her.

For many guys your age this would be an ideal situation, although how much more math you manage to learn will be questionable.

The real question here is your attitude towards it all; you seem to be freaked out yourself. The impression I'm getting here is that nothing like this has ever happened to you before and you don't know how to interpret the way you feel about it. You may be feeling very conflicted, possibly from a moral or religious standpoint. If so, no advice here will help you, because you've reached a point where you have to decide for yourself what your moral and/or religious values will be from here on out, rather than having them imposed on you by your family. Welcome to college.

I had a friend in a similar situation back in college. His biggest problem was he never saw himself as attractive enough to happen to him so never thought about it. When it did, he had no idea how to handle his own feelings on the matter because he was also fairly religious. In the end it took some soul searching to solidify his core self into something HE believed, not just what others had pushed on him all his life.

For what it's worth, he decided for himself it wasn't bad as long as he treated the woman with respect and recognized it for what it was - a relationship. And like any relationship, it could end up with him getting married to her eventually - or go nowhere at all. But if he wasn't willing to entertain *both* possibilities in his head, he wasn't really taking it seriously enough to respect her - and therefore didn't have any business being in the relationship.

That's him. You're you. Only you can decide how you feel about it. And whatever you decide, just make sure it won't be something you regret later on.

As for math? As the poll results suggest, it could be a lot of fun learning from her, in more ways than one. But if a relationship isn't what you want (regardless of where it may or may not go), you might be better off looking for math help elsewhere, for your own peace of mind if nothing else.

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